Thursday, April 29, 2021
FAST FIVE (2011)
Awww yeah, boi! Everybody's favorite gang, excuse me, "family" of anarchist, sociopath thieves is back and willing to kill and maim as many people as it takes to not get a day job.
This time around the gang is in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. They pull off a car theft job, but things don't go as planned and before you can say "The laws of physics can suck my gear shift!" our heroes have both the American DEA and a local Brazilian drug lord (who owns the police) hot on their chiseled butt cheeks. It's all very silly, 1,000% unbelievable and...entertaining as fuck!!! I don't even know how many times I've seen this goofy motherfucker. A lot. It's so goddamn crazy. It seems the filmmakers decided to (wisely) transition the franchise away from the street racing aspect and into the more cartoonish heist caper story. And it works. Another wise decision was the addition of Dwayne Johnson as the main DEA agent tracking down the Toretto crime family. His character is sooo over the top, it's hilarious. This is the manliest motherfucker on the planet. Even in scenes where nobody else is sweating, he's literally dripping sweat from just being so badass all the time.
Insanely quick pace that makes the 131-minute runtime fly by, overacting perfection, actors who are different heights looking eye to eye, Rio made to look like it's mainly made of up criminals, extremely impressive stunt work (FF is worth watching just for the stunts alone), lots of shooting and explosions, music, a lot of serious gear shifting with a purpose, beautiful locations and scenery...and some random warehouse locations, the world's strongest metal cable, funny / cheesy dialogue about honor and prayer while planning a robbery, exploding toilets, at least a hundred car wrecks.
Overall, FAST FIVE is fun as fook. Total junk food Cinema and awesome. I've thought about double-featuring FAST FIVE with DHOOM 2, but was afraid the Universe might implode in on it's own unmanly butthole.
Part 1 - The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Part 2 - 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
Part 3 - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Part 4 - Fast & Furious (2009)
Part 6 - Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
Part 7 - Furious 7 (2015)
Part 8 - The Fate of the Furious (2017)
Spin-off 1 - Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)