Is there even one single shot in this movie that doesn’t have an object or an actor within 10 feet (or less) of the camera? I’m fucking serious. I’m sitting there in the movie theater, gracing my favorite seat with my amazing buns, and within 10 minutes (if not less) you already know the entire story, so now in my boredom I start hyperfocusing on the camera placement and it’s driving me nuts. It’s like we’re stuck in a Bourne Identity fight scene for 7 hours or however long this movie is. What? It’s only 104 minutes long? Oh, fuck me.
Anyway, if you’ve never seen a movie before or a TV show and never read a book or maybe even don’t know how to read…perhaps you’ve been punched in the skull a few dozen times by a donkey, if so, then you might find BRING HER BACK to be original. Everybody else, I would hope, would just find it to be lazy and below average.
Middle of the road acting, minor blood, zero gore, zero scares, up close and personal camera shots for like 98% of the movie, lackluster script, unoriginal story, slow pace, dumb…fucking dumb as fuck characters, multiple plots holes. I hate to admit it, but that disappointing as fuck CUCKOO was better than this turkey.
Jesus Fucking Harry Potter Christ, I forgot to give a brief synopsis of the story: A woman, who is clearly as crazy as a shithouse rat, is in deep mourning over the death of her tween daughter. So, she acquires a bootleg “Soul Transference for Dummies” VHS tape (probably from iOffer) and kidnaps a young boy to use as a soul vessel until she can find a fresh tween girl corpse to permanently house her dead daughter’s soul. Lucky for her, the State seems to have performed literally zero investigation into her and her fucked up house and delivers a young orphan girl right to her front door. (I might've got a few minor details of the story incorrect. Or maybe I was just confusing it with the dozens of other times we've seen this same story.)
