POLICE ACADEMY (1984)

Set in a fictional universe where the police have hiring standards, the mayor of an unnamed American city (that looks exactly like Toronto) has removed the hiring rules so that anybody can apply and they cannot be kicked out. Enter into this ridiculous scenario is Steve Guttenberg, a freewheelin’ dude who has been arrested yet again for acting like a fool. His late father’s police buddy works out a deal so that Steve must go to the police academy or go to prison. And he cannot drop out. So, Steve goes to the first day of police boot camp and is joined by a laundry list of stereotypes: the overweight nebbish, the Latin lover, the accident-prone dork, the trigger happy gun nut with the brainpower of a Fig Newton, a gentle giant, a spoiled rich girl, etc. On the other end of the cast are the stereotypical police characters: the absent-minded but well-meaning boss, the domineering power mad drill sergeant who couldn’t do even 10% of what he demands from others, the two snitch cadet asshole-lickers and so on. And…that’s pretty much the entire movie: introduce the cast and then show their various adventures.

Nowadays, the Police Academy series is probably completely forgotten and tucked away in some dark, dusty, cobweb-covered corner of popular culture history alongside the rabbit test and Where’s Herb? But, back in the second half of the 1980’s the Police Academy series was a pretty big deal for movie lovers. Fuck, they made an installment every motherfuckin’ year from 1984 until 1989! I remember seeing them all multiple times back in the day. And the rental VHS tapes would sometimes be garbled as fuck around the quick nude scenes.

Revisiting the original installment of the series for this review was actually more fun than I thought it would be. I was kinda expecting it to be dated as fook, but outside of some cringy racial slurs and one completely uncalled for use of the f-word (not that it’s ever called for in a derogatory sense), POLICE ACADEMY was a fun film. Quick pace, dumb as hell story, a kid wearing a Fonz t-shirt, memorable characters, a Dave Clark Five poster, lots of wacky situations, a random rioter wearing a t-shirt for THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, one in the oven, that one dude who makes all the noises, The Blue Oyster Bar, solid editing, above average acting, a hardcore dude wearing a Van Halen vest and a Van Halen t-shirt, Also, IMDb states that John Hawkes is in the film as the uncredited "Driver of Teskey Truck". I'll leave that up to you to decide. (Screenshot included below.)

POLICE ACADEMY is definitely dated, but it's still an entertaining film. Mandatory viewing for anybody interesting in 1980's culture.

I'm curious if POLICE ACADEMY was the first movie introduction of the gay leather bar scene to popular American audiences? (Yeah, you could argue 1980's CRUISING, but POLICE ACADEMY made way more money than CRUISING.) Like was there some lonely dude in Java, South Dakota who saw this movie and during the Blue Oyster scene his dick shot out like a Pringles can with veins and he was like "There are places like that?!!" If so, then I hope they all had good lives and realized their gay dreams. I'm also curious if anybody has written a serious book about location concept comedies in the 1980's? There were just so many of them! Had to be in the hundreds. And don't worry, I'll review them all eventually.

Part 2 - Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985)
Part 3 - Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986)
Part 4 - Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Part 5 - Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Part 6 - Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
Part 7 - Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)

WINGS OF DESIRE (1987)

Being an uneducated dummy who enjoys arthouse cinema has its fair share of problems. One issue is I’m not smart enough to properly express my feelings about the films I watch. Another is I most likely miss details while watching the movies because I’m too stupid to notice them. But luckily nobody reads this shit, so I'll just plow ahead anyway! Yaaay! Duuuurrrr.

Two (male) angels hang around Berlin, Germany all day and night listening to people’s thoughts and trying to comfort them. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they don’t. These two angels, Damiel and Cassiel, have been alive for millennia, but they cannot actually touch things, feel weather or be seen. As the film progresses, one of the angels, Damiel, begins to have thoughts that he wants to become a human so he can experience all the horrible, shitty, wretched aspects of being a human. Here’s a free piece of advice: don’t do it, being a human fucking suuuuuuuucks.

WINGS OF DESIRE is a fascinating trip back to 1980’s arthouse. I love the look of the film, it’s absolutely gorgeous and maybe even constructed to be a love letter to Berlin, kinda like those scenes in MANHATTAN and HANNAH AND HER SISTERS are love letters to New York City, but what do I know? The other highlight of the film is the way it presents humans’ inner dialogues. As the angels walk among groups of people, the spoken dialogue shifts non-stop all over the place, it’s very well made and honestly sounds like it would be hell to experience. Film-making aspects aside, another great thing about WINGS OF DESIRE is all of the thoughts and questions it conjures up in the viewer’s mind. I’ve seen WOD a few times over the years and every time I’m left for days thinking about what exactly it is to be a human and my place in humanity as a whole. I'm also curious about the angel beings in this film universe because all of the ones in this movie seem to be white adult males. So can there be angels of other races? Overweight angels? Trans angels? Bulimic angels? Angels with missing limbs? I'm just curious.

Deliberately slow pace, absolutely gorgeous camerawork, a Nick Cave sighting, awesome use of colours and lack of colours, 1986’s LEGAL EAGLES on a movie theater marquee, strong acting, a Suicidal Tendencies t-shirt, a runtime that maybe went a little long. Overall, WINGS OF DESIRE is an above average film, but it's lost some of its emotional power since its original release in 1987. Still, it's worth checking out for those curious.

Part 2 - Faraway, So Close! (1993)
Remake - City of Angels (1998)