Monday, July 11, 2011

GROPER TRAIN: SEARCH FOR THE BLACK PEARL (1984)

An old man, who is the only person that knows the location of a rare black pearl worth two million dollars, is on the verge of death. His girlfriend begs him for the location of the pearl. His dying words are "Pussy print." What the fuck does that mean?! Well, fortunately there's a pussy print hanging on the wall, unfortunately it's only half of a pussy print. To help solve this mystery (and thinking the pussy print is a maybe a map) the family hires a private detective to locate the pussy that matches the pussy print. And how exactly do you do that? You dress up like a bug exterminator and go around on the train taking prints of women's pussies. Duh!

As far as mystery's go this one's pretty shitty and as far as Pink movies goes this one's pretty shitty as well. The story is passable, there's no laughs, the sex scenes are rubbish, there's only three girls that get naked and none of them are even attractive! I wanted to like these film, but it was a drag and I can't recommend you buy it or even rent it. If you haven't already seen THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR then watch that instead. It's funny, sexy and the main girl is really pretty.