Thursday, July 26, 2012

SOUL SURVIVORS (2001)

Did you know that ghosts wear condoms during ghostsecks? Well, they do. I've never been to film school so I'm not sure what kind of classes they have but if they have 'How to Write a Jumbled Up Piece of Shit Script 101' then, well THE CUT would be the main teaching material, but SOUL SURVIVORS would be supplementary material.

Tired of partying with a bunch of college dorks our four heroes go to a "rave" at an old abandoned building. After dancing like idiots they have some relationship drama then wreck their car. One guy dies, but the other three are well...I don't want to give too much away so let's just say it's stupid and unoriginal.

How SOUL SURVIVORS ever got financed is a fucking mystery cause if somebody had come to my office with that garbage script I would've tossed them out on their ear. Unfortunately it did get made and unleashed upon the world destined to stink up $1 movie bins everywhere.

Skip the shit out of this movie. The story is painfully unoriginal, zero gore, zero blood, zero attractive tits, non-threatening bad guys, bad camerawork, leather pants, cliches everywhere. Other than making fun of it along with your friends I can't think of one good reason to watch this turd.

On a funny note: SOUL SURVIVORS cost $17m but only made $4.3 worldwide at the box office. Hahahaha!