A troubled couple and their blind teenage daughter inherit a castle. They celebrate their good fortune by arguing a lot. Luckily for us viewers though...there's a castle freak in the basement! He's just hanging out, waitin' to get his freak on! And freak on he does. But this castle freak wasn't born a freak, oh no, he's a man-made freak. Story goes his mother was really freakin' angry at the young boys father, so she freaks out and attacks the boy. Freakin' up his face, freaking out his tongue and even freaking off his dong! She then locks him in a bare room for a bunch of years and that's when he gets all freakified. Eventually, the woman dies and when the new family moves in, the freakin' freaker freaks the freak out and escapes his freakhole.
Once freed from his freak cell, the castle freak stays within the walls of the castle and actually does a pretty piss poor job of hiding himself, but the couple is so preoccupied with arguing that they miss the obvious clues that there's a freak on the loose. The body count starts to add up, but overall it's pretty slow going. And while the freak is uglier than Papa Smurf's butthole, I kind of felt sorry for him...right up until he freaks off a woman's nipple! Holy shit that was awesome!!! Yeah, the Castle Freak might not have a ping-ding, but he's still a perverted motherfreaker who wants to get superfreaky with the couple's teenage daughter.
For a low-budget 90's freak flick, CASTLE FREAK has it's moments, but for the most part I couldn't help but think how cool this story could have been with a higher budget and a more imaginative script. Slow start, boring looking castle, not enough extreme freak action, unattractive topless scene, medium amount of blood, no gore, boring ending. Worth a one time watch, but that's it. I'd love to see a remake where the castle freak gets loose and runs around the local village.
Remake - Castle Freak (2020)
