Friday, August 17, 2012

SECTOR 7 (2011)

Next time you hear somebody talking shit about Michael Bay just point them in the direction of SECTOR 7. I'm not a fan of Michael Bay, but the shear over the top ridiculousness of this film makes Bay's ARMAGEDDON look almost quaint.

The story is about the crew of an offshore drilling platform (there's only like 10 people, I would imagine it takes much more to keep one of those things going) versus a monster. When the film opens they don't know about the monster so they have time to do shit like cooking out and motorcycle racing. Then finally the monster shows up and it looks like a giant mutated seal with tentacles! Later on when it gets burned up it looks like a mutated buffalo wing! Also it roars nonstop. It could have killed these losers a dozen times over if it would've quit roaring every five seconds. So for the remainder of the movie it roars its way around the platform nonstop until I wanted to commit suicide. The level of shittiness in this movie is beyond my writing skill to explain. It's like this script was written by a backwards child. I wish MST3000 was still around because they would destroy this movie.

The story goes nowhere, there was so much CG bullshit going on they might as well just made the movie animated, sensitive music, terrible acting, crappy rock music, slow motion sensitive scenes, silly looking monster, zero nudity, zero gore, zero blood, zero suspense, zero fucks given about making a good movie. Skip the fuck out of this job monster turkey.

If you need me I'll be in my room watching THE ABYSS.
I thought you needed eye protection while welding?