My Latin is pretty rusty, but if my high school memory serves correctly Wolfen
is Latin for "yawning my fucking balls off". When I decided to watch this
movie I (incorrectly) figured that it was gonna be about werewolves...and be
good. I was wrong on both accounts. WOLFEN is the extremely
slow-moving story about some mysterious death in NYC. The police are
baffled at how people can end up so mutilated (don't get excited...it's mostly
offscreen) with no trace of any weapons used. Police detective Albert
Finney is on the case and after what seemed to be dozens of hours of him walking
around, eating cookies and talking to different people he comes to the
realization that it's actually a Native American spirit wolf pack.
Unn-huh.
That's right there's zero werewolves involved. The only wolves involved at
all are actual wolves and even then we only get to see them in action at the
very end of the movie
and even then it's boring as fook. I've seen
more violence in TV commercials than I saw in this movie. If you enjoy
watching Albert Finney walking around talking to people along with different
short scenes of "wolf vision" (which is nothing more than crappy looking
thermographic wolf POV shots) tossed in at random then this is the movie for
you. If you're looking to be entertained look elsewhere.
If you need me, I'll be in my room watching
SILVER BULLET.
