Friday, August 30, 2013

FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

Blah, blah, blah...a bunch of years ago Jason's mom, campers, drown, decapitated...blah.  So now some annoying weedsmokers come along, go camping and talk about stupid shit.  Jason kills them in boring ways while lens flares shoot off like it's the Fourth of July.  Fast-forward six months and another, maybe even more annoying, group of douchers show up to par-tay.  There's also a handsome, sulky guy on a motorcycle looking for his missing sister.  Once again Jason shows up and kills a bunch of people.  The End.

When I sat down to watch this I figured it was going to piss me off, but luckily it was too soulless to anger me.  Instead of getting upset I just kinda sat there in a daze wondering how much time it must have taken Jason to dig all of those tunnels and then wire them with electricity and booby traps.

Forgettable kills, Jason looks stupid, Danielle Panabaker looking hot, zero gore, very little blood, bonerless tits, Jason the electrician, lens flares, annoying dialogue, binge drinking, weed.  Better than that JASON GOES TO HELL, but it's still a weak cash grab.  Skip it.

Part 1 - Friday the 13th
Part 2 - Friday the 13th Part 2
Part 3 - Friday the 13th Part III
Part 4 - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
Part 5 - Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
Part 6 - Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Part 7 - Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
Part 8 - Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Part 9 - The Final Friday: Jason Goes to Hell
Part 10 - Jason X
Freddy vs Jason