SAW (2004)

Two unlucky men find themselves in a really horrible place. That’s right...a Will Smith movie marathon. No, I’m just kidding. They weren’t that unlucky! Two unlucky men find themselves chained up in a dingy, fucked up industrial-looking bathroom.  Complete with a poo-filled toilet.  After talking for awhile and assessing that neither one of them can accurately throw an object over three feet, they discover that their lives are connected.  They're also given the message, by their mysterious captor, that if the one guy doesn't kill the other guy in a certain amount of time, the captor will murder the first guy's family.  All kinds of flashbacks and crazy shit happens next.

For a low-budget horror movie, SAW is a pretty impressive film.  The basic story is similar enough to SEVEN that it could almost be seen as a spin-off or imitation told from a different point of view, good pace, solid acting by an impressive cast, low amount of actual on-screen violence, an excellent musical score by Charlie Clouser (that's well worth listening to on it's own), creepy lighting and a very interesting villain, Jigsaw, who's completely different from other memorable horror movie icons like Leatherface, Chucky or Jason.

Another thing that I appreciate about SAW is just how much fun the entire series ended up being!  I've seen them all before, but when I sat down to watch the first one for this review...I ended up watching all eight of the films in a row and had an absolute blast!  It was great.  There's a few standout sequels (2 and 8), but overall, they're all fun.  No duds.  A few films (2 and 5) even come off like gnarly reality game shows!

Yeah, the story is totally unbelievable and dumb, but who gives a fuck?  Life is a pile of shit and a lie-filled hell from birth until release, so why not enjoy yourself and watch some goofy movies that make you laugh?  For anybody out there watching the entire series in order: whenever the Jigsaw puppet shows up on a television, right before he speaks, yell out "'ello, guvna!" It makes absolutely no sense, but is highly enjoyable.

Part 2 - Saw II (2005)
Part 3 - Saw III (2006)
Part 4 - Saw IV (2007)
Part 5 - Saw V (2008)
Part 6 - Saw VI (2009)
Part 7 - Saw 3D (2010)
Part 8 - Jigsaw (2017)
Part 9 - Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Part 10 - Saw X (2023)

MANHATTAN (1979)

Forty-two year old comedy writer Isaac (Allen) is in a relationship with a beautiful 17-year-old high school student, that is until until he starts hooking up with his best friend's mistress. That's pretty much the entire film, but it's all somebody with the storytelling genius of Woody Allen needs to create a wonderful and involving film. When we first meet Isaac he's hanging out with his young lover and his best friend and his best friend's wife. The friend tells Isaac that he's secretly having an affair. As luck would have it, not too long afterwards Isaac runs into the friend and his mistress while at an art gallery. Isaac takes an instant disliking to her (she insulted Ingmar Bergman!!!!!), but underneath his hatred is the coiled sexual power of a jungle cat and it's only a matter of time before they're screwing so great. Screws so great? Screws so great.

MANHATTAN is an excellent film, but I guess it wasn't excellent enough for The Academy Awards that year because they didn't even nominate it for Best Picture! Then again the real Best Picture of 1979 (ALIEN) didn't get nominated either, so what the fuck do I know? I'm just some asshole who spends too much time and stays up way too late writing bullshit that nobody reads...but let's be more optimistic. Well, all right, why is life worth living? That's a very good question. Um, well, there are certain things, I...I guess, that make it worthwhile. Uh, like what? Okay...um for me...uh. Oh, I would say, what, Robert McCammon to name one thing. And um and John Steinbeck and...um... the...The Beatles...and um, death metal...Swedish movies naturally..."The Earth" by Emile Zola, umm...Jack Lemmon, Flannery O'Connor...umm those incredible Apples and Pears by Cezanne...uh..the crabs at Sam Wo's...Rambo and Susie's furry little faces.

[Update 2018: add Charlie's furry little face to the list.]