Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts

Sunday, December 17, 2017

WHAT WE BECOME (2015)

Featuring all the excitement of a dry wet fart, WHAT WE BECOME is the snoozerific story of a quiet suburban neighborhood that is, at first, quarantined and then overrun by zombies.  That might sound exciting, but the pace of this underwhelming pigfucker is guaranteed to put all but the most easily amused movie watcher to sleep.

WHAT WE BECOME is a competently made film.  It looks good and the acting is passable, but the story is nothing!  We've seen this same type of slow-burn invasion story dozens of times before in everything from INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS to DISTURBING BEHAVIOR and WHAT WE BECOME brings nothing new to the table.  At least MULBERRY STREET helped invent the word "ratpire"!

The best thing WWB has going for it is the short running time and the teenage son who was amusing to laugh at.  That kid was a dork!  It was fun trying to list all of his hobbies...smoking, gaming, girls, bowling, toy collecting, beginner level skateboarding (no tricks, just slowly rolling down the street), urban exploration, baseball, peeping tom, basketball, The Simpsons, reading, guitars, monster trucks, fireworks, etc.

Zero nudity, very little violence, forgettable characters, boring zombies, slow pace, predictable ending that sucked.  Watch it if you want, but I think you can find something better to do with your time.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)

Some icky slug creatures from outer space land on Earth near a college and start jumping into people's mouths and turning them into zombies...right in time for the big formal dance.  "The good news is your dates are here."  "What's the bad news?"  "They're dead.

NIGHT OF THE CREEPS should have made a buttload of money, since it's a highly entertaining and fun 80's alien invasion/zombie movie, but for whatever stupid reason, it only opened in a handful of screens (Box Office Mojo says 70) on a brutal weekend where it went head-to-head against ALIENS, THE FLY, STAND BY ME, TOP GUN, TCM2, THE KARATE KID II, BACK TO SCHOOL, FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF and more!  It never had a chance, but luckily for us horror nerds it managed to avoid falling into obscurity and nowadays we can enjoy this clever 80's classic whenever we want.

Steady pace, imaginative and engaging story, likeable characters and a bad guy (the Bradster) who's really not so dislikable, good special effects, Dick Miller, funny script, a few topless scenes, a flamethrower, Stryper graffiti, MONSTER SQUAD graffiti, attractive girls all over the place, but none as attractive as Jill Whitlow.  Holy skydiving sloth testicles she was ridiculously hot in this film.  Quite possibly the hottest chick in any 80' horror movie ever!

Modern audiences will probably find the whole thing dated, but fans of 80's horror will enjoy it.  Recommended.