THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (1977)

I remember, when I was a kid, seeing the VHS tape for this film at the local Hastings and it scared the shit out of me. I have no idea why, but that cover combined with the title THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN was just horrifying. I mean, shit, if this guy was so terrifying that the entire fucking town was scared of him, then there's nothing that a little kid like me could do to protect myself!  Turns out my fears were for nothing, because this movie can barely even be categorized horror.  It's more of a crime thriller.

One quite evening in the small Texas town of Texarkana, a dude with a sack over his head attacks two teenagers at a local make-out spot: he beats the shit out of both of them.  He also leaves bite marks on the female. The local cops are dumbfounded, so they call in the Texas Rangers. The attacks continue and it turns out the Rangers are about as useless as the local police. Eventually, the guy kills five folks and then simply disappears. Yawn.

In the right hands, that story could be made into something suspenseful and engaging, but sadly it appears that everybody involved with this turkey had no clue as how to make a good movie. The weirdest thing was how the tone of the movie kept changing from scene to scene. In one scene it's trying to be serious and then 15 seconds later there's some "Dukes of Hazzard" hijinks going on.  There's even a cop car flying in slow motion into a pond!

Lame acting and even lamer script. Also, some of the night scenes were so dark that I could barely even tell what was going on.  Skip it.

[Update 09/26/2016: Just watched the 2014 "meta-sequel" (that shares the same title) and it's so underwhelming that I'm not even going to waste my time writing a review.  The story is set "one year ago" and has some dude who looks just like the dork in the original movie going around semi-copycatting the kills from the original film.  Lame kills, zero gore, zero suspense, horrible lighting, slow pace, stupid ending, zero scares.  The whole thing was a waste of time.  I wished I had never watched it.]

THE GATE II: TRESPASSERS (1990)

[Update 11/13/2018: Sweet Lord this review is terrible. I'll update it when I can.]

The original film was OK, in a PG-rated 80's horror kind of way, but Part 2 is just boring. The nerdy neighbor kid from part 1 is the main character now and he's been studying up on witchcraft. When his father gets fired for being drunk at work, the nerd kid casts a spell that's suppose to grant him a wish. His wish is granted and his dad gets his job back, but during the incantation some demons slipped through.

Low-budget demon hijinks ensue, but it's all pretty tame. I've seen 10 times more violence in a episode of "Tales from the Crypt". The best thing about the original was there was a slumber party and an interesting cast of characters, but in this one it's just this dork kid and this one neighborhood chick who is just there for no reason. Skip it.

Part 1 - The Gate (1987)

STREET TRASH (1987)

I first saw STREET TRASH when I was a sexy young teen falling in love with movies and it definitely made a strong impression on me. Revisiting it again now, it's not as wild as I remember, but it's still pretty crazy: a liquor store owner on skid row finds a case of old booze and puts it on sale for $1 a bottle. The local bums quickly buy it up and the second any of them take a swig of it, their body starts melting and bubbling and exploding in all the colours of the rainbow.

That's the main story, but the majority of the screen time is actually taken up with just the random events taking part in all of the bums lives. You know, normal bum stuff like shoplifting, fighting, ripping some guy's dick off and playing "Catch" with it, more fighting, chasing people, stealing stuff, standing around talking shit, a woman getting gang raped to death and then the next day some dude finds her corpse...and rapes it.

After the opening excitement there's a 30 minute dry spell that's kinda slow, but things pick up during the last act. Don't let the slow part scare you off though, STREET TRASH is one of those movies that you must see at least once. For being made in 1987 this was some pretty wacky stuff. Definitely required viewing for people who enjoy the wilder side of Cinema.

The camerawork on STREET TRASH is impressive. It's easy to see why Director/Steadicam Operator Michael Muro went on to work as a camera operator in some of the bigger movies like TITANIC, TERMINATOR 2, CASINO, HEAT and two X-MEN movies.

Also check out Tony Darrow, as the gangster guy, before he starred in six (to date) Woody Allen movies most notably SMALL TIME CROOKS.

JUNIOR (1985)

[Update 04/04/2022: Need rewatch this film and redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

I saw this in the Horror Section at my local video store and with the chainsaw cover plus the reference to Freddy and Leatherface I can see why they put it there, but once I started watching it I quickly figured out this is not horror at all. It's more like a live action hillbilly version of a Roadrunner and Coyote cartoon. I'm serious!

The opening scene shows two 80's chicks with massive 80's hair and misshapen 80's bodies being released from prison. For hookerin', I guess. Two seconds after they walk out the gates, this pimp dude in a huge car tries to run them over on the sidewalk. He jumps out of the car slaps and punches the women around then pours a bag of coke on the hood of the car and starts slamming one of the chick's face into the coke!!! That's fucking awesome and easily the highlight of the movie, but unfortunately we still have 80 minutes left. So the chick stabs the pimp in the nose and then they steal his car and the pile of money he just happened to be in the car.

They end up in some small town and after the Sheriff threatens them John Rambo-style they decide to buy a half dilapidated building on a lake and make a sandwich stand out of it! That makes zero sense cause this building appears to be in the middle of nowhere and to make matters worse all of the locals are a bunch of inbred rapists.

So for the next 60+ minutes it's just one attempted rape or assault scene after the next. After awhile it becomes humorous, because these two chicks just keep going on about their business of fixing up the building even though they are constantly being attacked. It's silly.

Overall it's a terrible movie, but at the same time I laughed quite a bit, so it wasn't a total loss. If you do decide to watch this turd then you should at least have a drinking game...every time there's shot of one of the chick's asses or they get attacked then take a swig. You'll be fucked up quick!