FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991)

Freddy flying around on a broom while dressed as a witch; Freddy doing somersaults; Freddy playing a video game on his "power glove"...I'm guessing at this point in the series, the filmmakers had completely given up on making a good movie and simply slapped together a bunch of goofy, surrealist, comedy ideas in hopes of making a quick buck based off of the popularity of the series.

"Ten years from now" Freddy has killed all of the kids in Springwood.  And, I guess, he's trapped in town or something, I don't know, but anyway, some kids at a nearby youth shelter are having bad dreams.  So one of the counselor's decides that a field trip to Springwood would help...bad idea.  Soon Freddy has killed three whole people!  Wow.

I've watched ANOES6 multiple times over the years, but I always end up bored and confused as to why the filmmakers thought this story was a good idea.  Freddy has been reduced to somebody who was kinda scary in the first film to now a comedy figure cracking off non-stop, shitty dad jokes that aren't even remotely funny.  Also, the Freddy make-up in this film looked like poop.

Skip it or watch it to make fun of it.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Part 4 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Part 5 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)
Part 7 - Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Remake 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Freddy looks like somebody walked in on him taking a shit.

JAILBAIT BABYSITTER (1977)

This has to be the worse official DVD release I've ever seen. Just look at the fucking screenshots! But really when you think about it JAILBAIT BABYSITTER doesn't deserve any better. The story revolves around an unattractive seventeen year-old girl (she looks 35) who refuses to give up the pussy to her boyfriend. One night they're making out on the sofa when he makes his move and she rejects him. She tells him "You can just cool it for awhile." and he yells back "Yea, well you can just go fuck yourself for awhile!" Right then a group of stoner friends waltz in and start partying. The party gets out of hand (furniture knocked over, guy hit in head with fire poker, etc) and the girl runs off.

As fate would have it she ends up at the home of a high-priced hooker. The girl never contacts her parents and just stays with the hooker and the hooker is more than happy to train her in the ways of whoring. Which strangely enough do not include getting naked. Instead there's just a lot of boring talking and even some tennis playing. Eventually she gets with her first customer and he's so out of shape he has a heart attack while trying to longdick it. This scares her out of hookerin' and back into the waiting arms of her dork boyfriend. They go to a Halloween party and the guy she hit in the face with the fire poker tries to rape her, but her boyfriend saves the day.

There you go. I just told you the entire story so now you can skip it completely. Trust me, you'll gain nothing by watching this stinker.

THE CRANES ARE FLYING (1957)

[Update 04/12/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

The camerawork in this film is excellent. One jaw-dropping shot right after another. From what little I've read about cinematographer Sergei Uruseveky, he was a military cameraman during the war.  Also, director Mikhail Kalatozov was an admirer of King Vidor.

The story is about two young lovers in Russia. They plan to get married, but when war breaks out the boy enters the army and the girl is left behind heartbroken. Lack of communication and cowardly acts by the boy's cousin end up destroying the girl's heart and spirit. The boy has plenty of troubles of his own.

I liked this movie a lot. The direction and photography was masterful and the story was really good...right up until the end. I didn't like the ending. I wanted it to be much more depressing. To me the entire story was leading one direction and then in the last two minutes it spins around and goes off in the opposite direction. Maybe that's just me. Don't let my complaint turn you off, this movie is definitely worth watching.

The not often seen in movies "headbutt-to-the-ass" shot.

There's a lot of great shots in the movie, but I think the following 37 second uncut shot is the best. It starts inside a moving bus goes out onto a crowded street, down the street through the crowd then up into a crane shot of the entire street! Amazing! Here it is...

THE NEXT THREE DAYS (2010)

[Update 03/09/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Simple everyday man Russell Crowe has his world rocked when his wife (Elizabeth Banks) is suddenly arrested and thrown in jail for murder. He cries and whimpers some, but when the last legal effort has been denied Russell puts on his biggest, baddest big girl panties and decides he's going to break her out of jail himself!

That's an interesting idea for a movie and for the most part it works, I was entertained, but I wish it had just been darker! There was a short moment (when he was getting money for his plan) that was dark and it was easily the best part of the movie. Another thing that bothered me is there were multiple rock montages. What is this a ROCKY movie? Also, the escape was way too easy. There wasn't any traffic on the roads. I'll run into more difficulty returning this DVD to the fucking video store than he did escaping the city with the police hot on his tail.

Those things aside, I enjoyed the movie. It wasn't anything special and a month from now I will have forgotten most of it, but it was a good lazy afternoon time-waster.