Monday, August 8, 2016

DESPERATE LIVING (1977)

"Men are such cunts."

Fresh out of the sanitarium, Peggy Gravel (Mink Stole) keeps herself busy by running around wrecking her house and screaming down at the neighborhood kids with such timeless classics as "Go home to your mother! Doesn't she ever watch you? Tell her this isn't some communist day care center! Tell your mother I hate her! Tell your mother I hate you!!!" The insanity finally gets out of hand when Mink and her maid (Jean Hill) accidentally kill Mink's husband.  They go on the run and after being sexually assaulted by a cross dressing motorcycle cop (he was the highlight of the movie) they end up in Mortville, a disgusting shantytown ran by the psychotic Queen Carlotta (Edith Massey).  At the same time, Queen Carlotta is angry at her daughter Princess Coo-Coo (Mary Vivian Pearce) for falling in love with the janitor of the local nudity colony.  Lots of other crazy shit happens including a disgusting sex change operation, backwards day, cannibalism, wrestling and little person fucking.

DESPERATE LIVING was the first feature-length film that John Waters did without Divine (due to scheduling issues) and, to me, that's just horrible.  My favorite thing about John Waters movies is the combination of Waters' skills as a filmmaker/writer and Divine's performances.  I love all of the other Dreamlanders (Mink Stole, Mary Vivian Pearce, Cookie Mueller, etc.), but Divine is my favorite and his absence here is too much for me.  David Lochary's absence hurt also.

Even without Divine and David, DESPERATE LIVING is still a fun time.  Mink Stole's performance is amazing and main reason I occasionally revisit the film.  Tons of unattractive nudity, lots of insane screaming, sleazy looking sets (except for John Waters' parents house which is beautiful), a great starting pace that runs out of steam during the last act, an infant in a refrigerator and some hilarious quotable lines.  Recommended, but not required.

If you need me, I'll be sleeping in the room next to you...nakeeeedd!

Sunday, August 7, 2016

THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE (1973)

What a bizarre film.  On the one hand, it's a sad story about a little girl who was sexually assaulted as a child and then kidnapped as a teenager and forced into being a heroin-addicted prostitute.  Eventually she gets her revenge against the people who wronged her.  On the other hand, the story is so incompetently told that pretty much all the viewer can do is stare at the screen in complete disbelief.

First off, during the prostitute scenes, the filmmakers show real penetration and ejaculation in terrifying close-ups.  It's horrible.  The scenes were performed by body-doubles who have no right to ever get naked in public.  Yuck!  Secondly, after what felt like a dozen scenes explaining how hopeless the main girls situation is (eye stabbing, rape, forced drug consumption, etc.) the girl decides to get her revenge so she...goes out, buys a car, takes driving lessons, fighting classes and shooting classes for what appears to be months on end!!!  All the while she keeps returning to her forced prostitution and turning tricks so she can save up enough money to get her revenge against the same people who she's voluntarily fucking each day.  It makes no sense.

Next off, during the revenge scenes, there is a lot of slow-motion.  At first, it's kinda interesting but then it just keeps going and going while weird sounds cause your cat to get confused and walk around the room with his ears sticking up.  And while we're on the subject of revenge...what the Hell is going on?  She drives all over the place shooting people and randomly running people off the road in a stolen police car...for days!!!  Yes, days.  At one point she literally mails a letter to the bad guy demanding a duel!

Another thing that confused me was who exactly did she get in a shootout with in that fishing village?  I'm serious.  She pulls up in her stolen police car, walks around, gets shot at, fires her gun randomly then drives away.  That was the entire scene!  What was that?

THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE is worth watching for people interesting in such movies, but honestly it's not very good.  It is entertaining though in a "you have to see it, to believe it" sort of way.  I was especially fond of the cars that explode the instant they leave the road.  I re-watched that one red car drive past the explosion at least a dozen times.  Tears streaming down my handsome cheeks.

NSFW screenshots