DEATH SHIP (1980)

Fuck this old turd of a movie. I remember getting burning by this piece of shit back in the 1980’s, when your mom would only let you pick one (maybe two) movies to rent to last you the entire weekend…and that cover looked so goddamn wicked with the crusty old ship with the ghost face, so you get the movie home and it fucking blows! Like, literally nothing happens for the entire movie! A cruise ship is hit in the middle of the night by a haunted ship; a few boring survivors climb off a raft onto the death ship and that’s it. They just walk around looking at spider webs and empty hallways for the rest if the movie. It was Hell. And your entire weekend was ruined! Why didn’t I just rent HALLOWEEN II or TIME BANDITS again! I was so stupid when I was a little kid. Idiot. I hate young me.

Fast-forward however many hundred years since it’s been since 1983 and I rent the fucking movie again! Surely, it's better now that I'm a handsome adult with a girthy, veiny, pulsating brain to think with. Annnd...I swear to Satan, it’s even worse now that it was back then! How did this movie even get made? There’s three writers listed in the credits, but there isn’t a story.  Is there an actual script for this movie somewhere or did they just film some actors walking around a ship and then cobble it into a movie?

Watch it if you want. I don't give a fuck what you do. I'm just ashamed to admit that I've watched this movie twice in my life. How embarrassing. That cover art is dope though. Maybe I should watch it again just to make sure.

Side note: while the movie is a complete turd, it was interesting to see George Kennedy and Richard Crenna in action. I think a lot of my anger for this movie still comes from it pissing me off so bad (with its boredom) as a kid.