HARD REVENGE, MILLY: BLOODY BATTLE (2009)

That's it. I'm buying this motherfucker. Part 2 is even better than the original!!! I really like this story and especially director/writer Takanori Tsujimoto's style. He could make a hundred of these fucking movies and it still wouldn't be enough!

This time around the budget is bigger, the fx and locations are better, the story is deeper and best of all the fight scenes kick even more ass!!! Fuck yeah!

A strange (and hot) girl comes to Milly to help her get revenge of her own, but then, out of nowhere, some armed men attack and Milly kicks their ass. Including hitting one motherfucker so hard both of his eye balls shoot out! The men were sent by the gay lover of the main guy from part 1 and naturally this means Milly's going to have to fight this fatherfucker.

Like I said, things are bigger and better from the first movie, including delving a little deeper into Milly's past and really it just ends up making things even more mysterious than they were before.

I really liked both of these movies a lot and since you can get both on the same DVD I say go for it!

Part 1 - Hard Revenge, Milly (2008)

HARD REVENGE, MILLY (2008)

I've seen this DVD sitting on the shelf at the video store for a few weeks now and I kept thinking it was going to be like all of those other over-the-top, blood spurting out in gallons movies that have been pouring out of Japan lately, so I skipped it. Now I'm fucking racking myself in the nards nonstop, cause this movie is fucking bad ass!!! Woooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Two years ago, while out on a weekend drive, Milly and her family were attacked by a gang of assholes. They killed the husband; punch her infant baby then lit it on fire and slam it against a wall. During this Milly gets all kinds of fucked up to shit and mutilated, including her tits cut off (off screen). How she survived is clouded in mystery, but all that matters right now is she's out to kick some fucking ass!!!

The budget is low, but even with the sometimes cheesy CGI this movie is a blast. The biggest surprise to me is how exciting and well choreographed the fight scenes are. I was damn near standing up on the fucking couch yelling I was so excited. 

Kudos to everybody involved with this movie. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Part 2 - Hard Revenge, Milly: Bloody Battle (2009)

DEADLY PREY (1987)

HOOOOOOOOOOLY FUCK!!!! I've heard some wild shit about this movie everything from "it'll kick your balls up around your ears" to "it soars like an eagle made of cheese", but both of those are understatements! DEADLY PREY cures cancer!!! You heard me right! Moments before I sat down to watch DEADLY PREY I had a slight cough that I diagnosed as terminal butt cancer. I watched the movie and now I feel fine! I'm completely cured!!! Oh thank you Danton...DAAAAAAANNNNNTTTTTOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!

A renegade group of mercenaries kidnap innocent people off the street and as a training exercise they hunt them down and kill them. But today they fucked up. They kidnapped Danton...DAAAAAAANNNNNTTTTTOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!! It's like if a gang of Wall-E's kidnapped the fucking Terminator and tried to hunt him. The. entire. fucking. movie. is this guy Danton...DAAAAAAANNNNNTTTTTOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!! killing everybody nonstop. That's it. I'm not exaggerating, by the end of the movie everybody's dead but him! Hahahahaha.

This movie is rad as fuck. It's like the world's most intellectually disabled intellectually disabled person took his biggest, baddest Big Chief pencil and wrote the most cliche-filled, stupid Rambo fan fiction and then right before he died of terminal butt cancer all of his intellectually disabled friends used the script to make a movie from it. It's wonderful.

If you're looking for a good movie to watch with your drunk friends. This is the one. Make sure to bring your rape whistle though cause DEADLY PREY is going to fuck you up...the butt*!

*Warning: getting raped up the butt by this movie may cause cancer.

[Update 1: Am I correct in think that this shot looks a lot like the shot from THE SWORD OF DOOM? How bizarre.]

[Update 2: I have no idea why, but I bought www.terminalbuttcancer.com and have it go to this review.]