IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)

A spoiled heiress (Claudette Colbert) is angry at her dad (Walter Connolly) because he doesn't approve of her new gold-digging husband.  She runs away and heads out on the road to be with the man she loves. On the bus from Miami to NYC she catches the eye of a down-and-out newspaper man (Clark Gable) who doesn't know who she is, but finds her amusing. He flirts with her and she refuses, but once he sees how out of place she is he takes it upon himself to watch out for her...whether she wants his help or not.

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT is a fantastic movie (although my choice for the Best Picture of 1934 is still Howard Hawks' TWENTIETH CENTURY).  Quick pace, enjoyable story, some truly funny moments (Alan Hale's singing, the hitchhiking scene, etc.), great direction by Frank Capra, photography by the legendary Joseph Walker and an awesome supporting cast including Walter Connolly, Ward Bond, Roscoe Karns, Charles C. Wilson, Arthur Hoyt and Alan Hale.  The whole thing is even more impressive when you learn it was made in just four weeks!  And let's not forget that IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT was Friz Freleng's inspiration for Bugs Bunny!! Mel Brooks also said in his autobiography that he lifted the basic story idea for SPACEBALLS.

Required viewing for all fans of classic Hollywood.

IT'S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE (1987)

As if there already wasn't enough misery in the world, back in 1987 the people behind the It's Alive films decided to curse humanity with yet another installment of their terrible series.  This time around, five mutant babies are abandoned on a deserted island.  Of course, stupid humans just can't keep away and eventually the five (now much larger) babies escape the island on a stolen boat.  They land near a boardwalk in Florida and start wreckin' shit.  But sadly not enough shit to keep me interested.  IT'S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE was absolute torture from beginning to end.  Watching it ruined my whole day.  I was in a pretty good mood before starting the film, but 90-something minutes later when the end credits finally started rolling I just stood up, gave the TV the bird with both hands, yelled "That was a fuck movie!!!" and went to bed.  I didn't even brush my teeth.  That's just fucking gross.

I could say more about this film (about the slow pace, cheesy special effects, horrible acting, goofy dialogue, etc.), but honestly watching this series was a huge mistake and just want to move on with my life.  So let my anguish be an example to you and please just avoid them all.  If you need me, hopefully, I'll be in my room watching something good.  I guess we'll find out whenever I post my next review.

Part 1 - It's Alive (1974)
Part 2 - It Lives Again (1978)
Remake - It's Alive (2008)

The same weird wallpaper appears in Part 1.

Is that a glittery Twisted Sister logo on that jacket?

IT LIVES AGAIN (1978)

With a crushing sense of dread I crammed the disc for IT LIVES AGAIN in the trusty ol' Oppo and...yep, it was just as boring as I had feared.  The posters promised "now there are three of them" and while technically that's true, it doesn't make this second It's Alive movie any better than the original clunker.

Instead of opening with a woman going into labor, getting stuck in a traffic jam in downtown NYC and the three babies popping out like murderous acrobats and going on a non-stop, blood soaked rampage in the Big Apple, IT LIVES AGAIN opens with a baby shower and a lot of talking.  Thirty-one minutes worth of talking to be exact before the first baby finally even shows up!  He kills one person and is then taken to a secret laboratory where a small group of morons are keeping three babies in the misguided belief that they are the next step in evolution!  One champion even tries to hold a baby...which immediately rips his throat out (or so I'm guessing it did, since once again all of the violence is implied or off screen).  The three babies escape and two of them are immediately killed by the police, so now we're right back down to one baby again.  Lame.  The lone killer baby then goes looking for his parents.  How sweet.

I wasn't expecting much from IT LIVES AGAIN and that's exactly what I got: not much.  Ugly photography, bad lighting, crappy special effects, godawful police work, slow story, weak acting, terrible script.  Honestly, there's very little redeeming qualities about this snoozer.  I wish I had never watched it.   

Part 1 - It's Alive (1974)
Part 3 - It's Alive III: Island of the Alive (1987)
Remake - It's Alive (2008)