Sunday, May 22, 2016

IT'S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE (1987)

As if there already wasn't enough misery in the world, back in 1987 the people behind the It's Alive films decided to curse humanity with yet another installment of their terrible series.  This time around five mutant babies are abandoned on a deserted island.  Of course, stupid humans just can't keep away and eventually the five (now much larger) babies escape the island on a stolen boat.  They land near a boardwalk in Florida and start wreckin' shit.  But sadly not enough shit to keep me interested.  IT'S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE was absolute torture from beginning to end.  Watching it ruined my whole day.  I was in a pretty good mood before starting the film but 90-something minutes later when the end credits finally started rolling I just stood up, gave the TV the bird with both hands, yelled "That was a fuck movie!!!" and went to bed.  I didn't even brush my teeth.

I could say more about this film (about the slow pace, cheesy special effects, horrible acting, goofy dialogue, etc.), but honestly watching this series was a huge mistake and just want to move on with my life.  So let my anguish be an example to you and please just avoid them all.  If you need me, hopefully, I'll be in my room watching something good.  I guess we'll find out whenever I post my next review.

Part 1 - It's Alive
Part 2 - It Lives Again
Remake - It's Alive (2008)


Is that a glittery Twisted Sister logo on that jacket?