Tuesday, August 30, 2011

SPICE WORLD (1997)

I guess there's a movie in here somewhere...or maybe not. The film starts with the Spice Girls playing themselves and preparing for their first ever live concert. A newspaper owner with sand in his pussy is tired of the Spice Girls being on the cover of the paper everyday so he sends an undercover paparazzi to dig up some dirt and break up the band. While this is going on a documentary film crew follows the Girls around and one of their friends is pregnant. Also for some reason Meatloaf is their bus driver.

They drive all over the place having bizarre adventures (falling off a boat; going to dance boot camp; riding on top of the bus; signing autographs for aliens and peeing in the woods) and having strange fantasies (being in the game "Clue"; appearing in court for releasing a bad song; having a bunch of babies). The big climax is whether they're gonna make it to the concert in time or not.

The story, if you can even call it that, is crap. It's just a bunch of scenes slapped together, but even worse is none of the musical numbers are good or even complete. Out of the 10 or songs they sing, only two or three were even entire songs. Hell, I don't know. I'm not a Spice Girls fan, but it seemed the songs were all very short. I was hoping that this film would become a guilty pleasure like THE PIRATE MOVIE or THE APPLE, but instead it was just lame. Skip it.

For those of you keeping record: I actually did enjoy this film more than ILSA, THE WICKED WARDEN.
I've been wondering for 10 years where Dwarves got that sample from. Now it's even funnier that it came from this movie.