Thursday, June 7, 2012

CINDERELLA (1977)

Absolutely fucking awful. I have no idea why in the 1970's there was a fad of making adult-themed fairy tale musicals, but there was and if CINDERELLA is any indication of what they were like, then I'll never watch another one as long as I live.

We all know the story of Cinderella, so I won't even get into that, it's the same old story...except this time around there's god-awful disco music, a budget of around a thousand dollars, wall-to-wall nightmare-inducing nudity and painfully terrible jokes. Examples: a guy peeling an apple is staring at some females so hard that he cuts his own finger off...ha-ha. Using a corncob as a dildo and when the chick cums, she popcorn shoots out of her snatch...hardy-har-har. A guy says his horse is the most well-trained horse in the kingdom then, as soon as he dismounts, the horse walks off...hee-hee. Or in the most worn out joke of the entire movie: the fairy godmother gives Cinderella a "snapping pussy", so for like the next 40 minutes everybody is making jokes nonstop about "the snapper" or "my snap decision" or "snap, crackle, pop." Good grief.

If you're a mentally disturbed 7-year-old child you might find this adult-themed CINDERELLA to be funny or erotic, but I would hope that the majority of people find the entire thing to be absolute shit and not erotic in the least. I'd have better luck jacking off to a old rerun of "Gilligan's Island".
These are both female.