Sunday, February 3, 2013

PUNISHED (2011)

Disappointing.  The story here is Anthony Wong is a rich dude who's daughter is kidnapped and now he's out to kick ass.  Holy shit, that's an awesome idea cause we all know Anthony Wong knows how to kick ass with the best of 'em.  Unfortunately the writer of this turkey must have made a bet to "take an kick ass idea and totally fuck it up" cause PUNISHED is boring as fook.  First off, in the beginning of the film they tell us in a flashback that the daughter is dead.  Really?  Why would you do that?!  Secondly, once we finally get to meet the daughter she's in her early 20's and a complete asshole.  I mean honestly there is not one single redeeming quality about her: she's a hardcore drug addict, she drives like a maniac, she's abusive towards her step-mother who seems to be a nice person and she's nonstop taking/stealing from her father to buy coke.  Wong should have counted it as a blessing that she got kidnapped, but instead he actually believes that she's faking it.  That's how fucked up this kid is. 

Anyway, stuff happens and she dies so now Wong is all angry, but instead of doing anything about it himself he has his bodyguard go out and hunt down the kidnappers.  But even that is boring.  The biggest highlight of the film was laughing about how shitty Wong's kid and the bodyguard's kid is.  At one point the bodyguard calls his son (who lives with his ex-wife) and tells him "Hey, I'm moving to Moscow and I'll be away for a few years."  The kid replies with "Alright, well call me when you get back.  I got another call, gotta go!"  *click* then puts the phone in his pocket.  Hahahahaha!  What a little shit! 

Unoriginal story, weak revenge scenes, some of the worst shooting by a professional bodyguard ever, Anthony Wong never once kicks ass, stupid overly emotional ending that is predictable as fuck, non-threatening kidnappers, unsympathetic victim.  Skip it.  If you need me I'll be watching COMMANDO and I SAW THE DEVIL.