Oof! DEADTIME STORIES is a silly comedy/horror anthology about an annoying
little twerp who won't go to sleep. His drunk uncle is trying to watch TV
in the living room, so he tells the kid three stories to try to get him to fall
asleep. The first story is
easily the worst of the group.
It's a goddamn disaster. Two witches are living in the woods.
They're trying to reincarnate their dead sister. Instead, they had my
finger inching towards the "Eject" button and thinking about aborting this
entire review. Being the handsome stud that I am, I bravely trudged
through that stinker and made it to the second story that actually ended up
being alright! It was a modern retelling (with a werewolf twist) of the
Little Red Riding Hood tale and it had it's moments. The third story was
about the
"Bear" family. After escaping from a mental hospital,
they return home to find out that a psychopath by the name of Goldi Lox is
living in their old dump of a house. The whole story is dumb as Hell, but
somewhat entertaining in a "so stupid it's funny" sort of way.
Wildly uneven stories that didn't fit together at all, a horribly boring
connecting narrative (the kid and his drunk uncle) that could have just been
dropped altogether and replaced with another actual story, extremely brief
nudity, mediocre special effects, uneven acting skills, a
Rob Lowe poster
just like the one from
THE LOST BOYS, interior of a drugstore from the 1980's complete with Smurfs and E.T. merch,
zero gore, very little blood, 80's fashions, absolutely zero laughs, ol' boy
from
THE MUTILATOR, lots of groans (from me), unsatisfying ending.
Overall, I'm glad that I watched it, but it'll be a long time before I
voluntarily watch this bastard again. It was fun to laugh at though.
Skip it.
