Oof! DEADTIME STORIES is a silly comedy/horror anthology about an annoying little twerp who won't go to sleep. His drunk uncle is trying to watch TV in the living room, so he tells the kid three stories to try to get him to fall asleep. The first story is
easily the worst of the group. It's a goddamn disaster. Two witches are living in the woods. They're trying to reincarnate their dead sister. Instead, they had my finger inching towards the "Eject" button and thinking about aborting this entire review. Being the handsome stud that I am, I bravely trudged through that stinker and made it to the second story that actually ended up being alright! It was a modern retelling (with a werewolf twist) of the Little Red Riding Hood tale and it had it's moments. The third story was about the
"Bear" family. After escaping from a mental hospital, they return home to find out that a psychopath by the name of Goldi Lox is living in their old dump of a house. The whole story is dumb as Hell, but somewhat entertaining in a "so stupid it's funny" sort of way.
Wildly uneven stories that didn't fit together at all, a horribly boring connecting narrative (the kid and his drunk uncle) that could have just been dropped altogether and replaced with another actual story, extremely brief nudity, mediocre special effects, uneven acting skills, a
Rob Lowe poster just like the one from
THE LOST BOYS, interior of a drugstore from the 1980's complete with Smurfs and E.T. merch, zero gore, very little blood, 80's fashions, absolutely zero laughs, ol' boy from
THE MUTILATOR, lots of groans (from me), unsatisfying ending.
Overall, I'm glad that I watched it, but it'll be a long time before I voluntarily watch this bastard again. It was fun to laugh at though. Skip it.
