FIREWALKER (1986)

Tired as fuck Indiana Jones/buddy cop/ROMANCING THE STONE wannabe starring the zero-laughs-per-minute comedy stylings of Lou Gossett Jr. and Chuck Norris.  I enjoy Chuck Norris and Lou Gossett Jr. individually...kinda, but they make a lame duo here.  Zero onscreen chemistry.

After a snoozer of an opening scene where an evil general ties them up in the desert (...and then drives away, naturally), Lou and Chuck are approached by a mysterious woman in a bar.  She shows them a treasure map, then a dude with a crossbow attacks them and runs away.  Eventually, they travel south of the border in search for the lost gold.  Bad jokes and boring adventures ensue. 

FIREWALKER isn't a terrible movie, just really blah.  Like an extended length episode of some long forgotten 1980's adventure TV series.  Cheap sets (the caves especially looked like shit), bad jokes, slow pace, zero adventure, zero tension, zero sex, zero character development, zero explanation of the title.

Outside of the drawing power of the two leads, I have no idea why the filmmakers thought that FIREWALKER would make any money...which probably explains why it disappeared from the theaters after just a few weeks. Skip it.

Lou moving his left leg before Chuck has untied it.

JAWS 3 (1983)

Sheriff Brody's eldest son is now a big wig at the Sea World in Florida.  While his younger brother is in town for a visit, a gigantic Great White shark sneaks into the facility and starts eating people, I'm guessing (in light of the personal vendetta nature of Part 4) in an attempt to eat the two boys.

The idea of Jaws stealthily eating people in a water park is so fucking ridiculous that I can't believe they made a big budget Hollywood movie about it, but they did and it's way dumber than you can even imagine.  Not only did they play the entire thing seriously, but it's shot in a hokey 3D fashion which results in nonstop things pointing towards the camera. It gets old quick. JAWS 3 is a cheesy, entertaining train wreck that's a lot of fun to laugh at. I'm not sure if that's what the filmmakers were going for, but JAWS 3 is a great comedy.

If you are looking for a serious JAWS movie, this isn't it. It's not a horrible film, but I doubt anybody has ever taken it seriously.  Although, I do remember seeing this movie as a kid and that hand in the mouth scene freaked me out.

Part 1 - Jaws (1975)
Part 2 - Jaws 2 (1978)
Part 4 - Jaws: The Revenge (1987)