UNINVITED (1988)

So you got this cat and somehow these genetic scientists have messed with it to the point that it now has a monster living inside of it and whenever the cat is threaten or pissed off, the monster jumps out of the cat's mouth, whips everybody's ass and then crawls back into the cat. What the cat thinks about of this I don't know, but it doesn't seem too happy. Anyway, the cat escapes from the lab and after killing a few people, it ends up on a dock where a slut finds it and takes it aboard a yacht. The boat gets out on the ocean and promptly ends up way off course. Right about then the cat says "Meow, I've had enough of this shit, see!" starts biting every motherfucker it can get its paws on.  The End.

Also, for some odd reason, the back cover to the VHS gives away the entire movie!

SCHOOL'S OUT (1999)

A small group of teenagers break into a high school for some after hours shenanigans. The shenanigans never happen because a dork with large scissors starts stabbing everybody. Boring stuff happens and the Final Girl escapes, but within a few days she steals a gun off a cop and goes hunting for the person who killed her friends.  Yawn.

It’s difficult to have any feelings (positive or negative) about SCHOOL’S OUT because it’s such a nothing movie. The story is older than your grandpappy’s dick, the cast is so blah that nobody stood out, the lighting sucked, the setting sucked, the camerawork really sucked and the story! What the fuck? At multiple points, somebody had the killer in a position where they could easily kill him but didn’t. It was extremely frustrating. No gore, very little blood, zero nudity, overly complicated story…outside of looking for something to laugh at with friends I cannot see any reason why anybody would like this film. Skip it with a vengeance and never look back.

Part 2 - Dead Island: School's Out 2 (2001)