ANATOMY (2000)

"It's kind of fun to sit around and talk about dick sizes in public."

 

A young woman (Franka Potente of RUN LOLA RUN fame) is smart enough to get accepted into one of the most prestigious medical schools in Germany, but not smart enough to recognize there's a murderous (not so) secret society, the Anti-Hippocratic Society (A.A.A.), going around killing people.  And not just some random students on the other side of the school, but people in her main Anatomy class and even her roommate!

 

I enjoyed the basic story idea of ANATOMY, but the entire film is just so light-hearted and downright silly that there is absolutely no way a hardened horror fan could ever take this film seriously.  It's better just to sit back then admire and giggle at how dumb everything is.  I mean there's a Fatboy Slim "Praise You" montage scene for fuck's sake!

 

Okay pace, absolutely ridiculous story, very little blood, the biggest door opening that I've ever seen on a public bus, nobody sexy at all to look at, hilariously bad dialogue, a Final Girl who puts herself into danger multiple times, boring killers, disappointing ending.  Not a bad film, but in no way can it be looked at as a serious horror film.  Watch it for a laugh. 

Part 2 - Anatomy 2 (2003)

PIT STOP (1969)

Hot rodder Rick Bowman is one bad mother. While the opening credits roll we see Bowman getting ready to whip some nerd's ass at street racing. But wouldn't you know it? The spazz he's racing wrecks his crate into somebody's crib then the pigs show up and throw Bowman in the slammer. Race promoter Grant Willard (Brian Donlevy) sees this as his opportunity, so he bails Bowman out and convinces him to do some Circle 8 Racing with a promise that if he does good maybe there's a spot for him over at his racing outfit, California Customs.

Just in case you don't know what Circle 8 racing is it's a race track with an intersection in the middle! Director Jack (SPIDER BABY, SWITCHBLADE SISTERS) Hill filmed a lot of exciting real life footage for the racing scenes and it's great! These wrecks are the real deal and it gives PIT STOP a cool historical feel to it.

Even though the racing scenes are fun to watch the other thing that makes this movie so good, even 40 years later, is the story is actually interesting and the actors are good! The biggest surprise is a young Sid Haig who actually shows some range! I've only seen him in the horseshit horror movies he cranked out later in his career, so I figured his entire career consisted of standing around with his mouth wide open, but I was wrong, because in PIT STOP he closes his gaping grin and does some honest acting...and he's good.  Damn good in fact!

If you like hot rod flicks then this is a really good one and a lot of fun to watch. Also look out for a young Ellen Burstyn. Highly recommended.

PATRIOTISM (1966)

Well, nobody can accuse PATRIOTISM of not delivering what it promised. The back cover says "depicts the seppuku (ritual suicide) of a naval officer" and that's what we get in graphic detail and that's it! I appreciate what they were going for, but this shit is slooooooow. Shot entirely in one room, a officer guy comes home and tells his wife he's upset about some stuff and he's going to kill himself. She cool with that so they make some boring arthouse love and then he gets down to it. The blade goes in his tummy and he gets to sweating and grunting and she starts crying and then he yanks out his guts and stabs himself through the throat. She touches up her makeup and then rams a smaller sword through her neck. The End.

Not the most exciting film ever made, but at only 30 minutes, it's an easy enough watch.