SIMON OF THE DESERT (1965)

[Update 07/17/2022: Need rewatch this film and redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

SIMON OF THE DESERT is the last of Bunuel's so called 20 "Mexican films" and it's very loosely based of life of Simeon Stylites, who I think must have been a complete fucking nut cause he stood on top of a pillar for 39 years to impress God...bet he felt stupid when he died and nothing happened. Anyway, so in Bunuel's film we're introduced to Simon after he's been on the pillar for 6 years. He's developed quite a reputation, so naturally people come to him begging for miracles. One of the beggars is a man who has no hands. He pleads for mercy, Simon prays and presto the dude has hands which he promptly uses to slap his daughter.

Once alone and back to his meditation, Satan (Silvia Pinal) begins appearing in different forms (schoolgirl, Jesus, possessed monk, half-naked chick driving a coffin!!!) and tries to trick Simon into coming down. I won't tell you if he does or not, you'll just have to see for yourself.

The runtime for the movie is only 45 minutes, but it's wonderful. I've always heard that the reason for shortness was because they simply ran out of money, but in a video interview with star Silvia Pinal in the extras she mentions that Bunuel wanted to have the story told in three connecting short films by three directors (the two others being Federico Fellini and Jules Dassin), but it all fell through because of differences over casting. Now I'm not sure how much I believe that story, but it is interesting to fantasize about. Can you imagine how interesting that would have been?!

If the film itself wasn't enough of a reason to buy this DVD, there's also a great 56-minute documentary covering Bunuel's creative period in Mexico (1946- 1965) - even after he returned to making films in Europe he still lived in Mexico until his death in 1983. There were many jaw-droppingly awesome moments, but the two that really shocked me was the photographs Bunuel took while researching for LOS OLVIDADOS. Also, a video interview with Bunuel's widow where she said that Luis never talked to her about his movies! What the Hell?! That's completely insane!

In conclusion, yea it's short, but 1) it's Bunuel, so you have to buy it 2) it's a great film and 3) it's Criterion so until they eventually put out the Blu-Ray this is the best picture you're going to find of this minor masterpiece. Buy it.

RAZORBACK (1984)

RAZORBACK is an odd film. Not because there's a pissed off pig the size of a van killing people (that's just strange), but because it's really not that great of a movie and yet I couldn't take my eyes off it. The reason being is the cinematography by Dean (THE ROAD WARRIOR, DANCES WITH WOLVES, APOCALYPTO) Semler is excellent. I've seen dozens of killer mutant animal movies and most of them are pretty boring when the creature's not on screen, but not RAZORBACK. Each scene was a delight and strange as it might sound, this movie could probably be shown in film school...not that I have any idea what film school is like.

Anyway, down in beautiful Australia you got this huge razorback going around squealing and gnawing on people. A reporter from America comes down on assignment to do a report on kangaroo hunting and end up gets killed by the giant pig. Her husband is fed some bullshit story about how she fell down a mineshaft so he comes down and he wants some straight answers goddamn it!!!

None of that really matters cuz all you want to see is the giant pig in action. Unfortunately we never get any great shots of him running around kicking ass, it's all pretty much shoulder and face shots, but it works. No gore, no tits, but the camerawork is amazing. Worth a watch.

RAWHEAD REX (1986)

RAWHEAD REX doesn't mess around. Right from the beginning, he's kicking ass and ripping people's faces off!

A farmer in Ireland is clearing a field when he comes across some big rock with ancient-looking writing on it. A normal person would maybe call a museum or a lawyer or something, but nope, not this genius. This guy knocks it over and out pops Rawhead Rex like a fucking jack-in-the-box! Boom! He's been buried down there forever, so to make up for lost time, he runs around for the rest of the movie killing everybody he sees. The only break he takes from stomping mudholes in people's asses is when he urinates on a priest! That's awesome.

I enjoyed RR when it came out 300 years ago, but it’s pretty dated nowadays. Rawhead still looks cool though in an 80's monster kind of way, fait amount of violence, quick tits, average pace, a beautiful Irish countryside setting, less than good acting.  RAWHEAD REX is worth checking out for fans of 1980’s monster movies.

Question: why didn't Rawhead kill the pregnant woman? I thought for sure he was going to jump on her belly like it was trampoline and shoot the fetus out her butthole, but then the scene just cuts off. Did I miss something?