TEEN WOLF (1985)

Twenty-three year old teenager Scott Howard is fed up with living in a small town where nothing ever happens. Well one day something happens: he turns into a werewolf during the middle of a high school basketball game! Strange thing is, outside of a couple of gasps, nobody freaks out and they continue playing!  Soon after, he's transform from nerd to top dog on campus and even main hot chick on campus wants him [insert doggystyle joke here] much to the jealousy of her jock boyfriend.

TEEN WOLF is a fun 1980's high school flick that teeters on being great, but it never quite gets there.  There's tons of great moments, but yet the whole thing seems to be missing that certain magic to catapult it into true cult status.  I think a lot of that (and I have no proof of this) is it was released only a month after BACK TO THE FUTURE.  The studio must have rushed it.  Also, if you look at director Rod Daniel's resume he hasn't done anything worth a damn since TEEN WOLF...BEETHOVEN'S 2ND, HOME ALONE 4, HOW TO MARRY A BILLIONAIRE: A CHRISTMAS TALE.

Werewolf playing basketball, 80's high school party, montage, bowling, van surfing, crew visible, camera dolly tracks visible, random person with their pants undone, secondary cast that could have been better, weak soundtrack that could have definitely been better, glowing eyeballs, the same house from BTTF, 80's fashions.  Worth a watch or two.

Part 2 - Teen Wolf Too (1987)

SEX AND ZEN (1991)

[Update 4/14/2020: I really need to 100% redo this entire review. Just have to find the time.]

A flying thief. Lots of attractive naked chicks. A guy with a surgically transplanted horse cock. Those three things right there should've made this the most entertaining movie of all time, but somehow despite everything it still turned out boring. Don't get me wrong it had a few funny moments (the surgery scene), but for the most part I was begging for it to end.

I have no idea how somebody could make a movie with so many sex scenes boring, but the makers of this stinker figured it out. Skip this turd. If you're looking for a good Category III movie, watch A CHINESE TORTURE CHAMBER STORY or THE FORBIDDEN LEGEND: SEX & CHOPSTICKS instead.

NORIKO'S DINNER TABLE (2005)

You better be ready to invest some time when you stick this mother in the DVD player. How much time? 159 fucking minutes worth...and you know what? This movie could have been an hour longer and I would have loved it even more!

The story takes place in the same universe as SUICIDE CIRCLE and it even answers some of the questions, but in the end it ends up creating even more! Noriko is a sexy 17-year-old who lives in a small country town where nothing much goes on. One night she's had enough of this boring shit, so she runs away to Tokyo. Once there she meets her sexy online friend, Kumiko. Kumiko is fucking fucked in the head big time!!! She supports herself, by running a "family rental" business where a person can rent a family for whatever they want: reliving a happy memory over and over, reconnecting with lost love ones, arguing, whatever. Eventually Noriko's sexy sister Yuko runs away from home too and joins her sister, even though they are not allowed to actually be sisters any longer. Like I said earlier, Kumiko is totally unstable and since her entire reality is the false families and false memories she becomes even more unstable and things start to take a dark turn: Suicide Club.

Even though I watched the movie and loved the shit out of the fake family stuff (it reminded of BELLE DE JOUR) I still have no clue about all of the supernatural stuff going on in the original SUICIDE CIRCLE movie. None of that is explained here. Pretty much all I got was that Kumiko organized the mass suicide at the train station and she was even present, but it still doesn't explain how she did it or the supernatural aspect.

I really dug this movie and in the extras there was an interview with writer/director Sion Sono where he said this movie was based on a novel that he had written. That sounds awesome!

If you like mind-bending cinema, like Lynch's MULHOLLAND DRIVE, then you should check this movie out. I thought it was great and really, really hope Sono follows up on his promise to make a Part 3.

SUICIDE CIRCLE (2001)

If you've come to this review looking for answers then you're out of luck. All I know is I just watched SUICIDE CIRCLE and NORIKO'S DINNER TABLE back to back and it was great! But I still don't have any answers for you.

One evening at 7:30 54 teenage girls lined up side-by-side at a subway station and jumped in front of an oncoming train. The only clue the police find is a white sports bag with a coiled up "chain" of human skin inside it. There's also a mysterious website with dots that always appear right before the suicides happen. That's about it. The rest of the movie is just a series of suicides and the police investigating them. No real concrete answers are ever given, but that doesn't mean you won't enjoy the film. I thought the first hour was a blast, but then around the 61 minute mark things start falling apart and just getting confusing as shit until the movie abruptly ends.

The story might be confusing, but I have to hand it to director/writer Shion Sono he really knows how to set up the creepy mood and make even a movie with no real plot fun to watch. Check it out!