JESSE STONE: THIN ICE (2009)

Thin ice, huh?  Once again we get to see Selleck carrying groceries over that bridge and once again talk about parking tickets and whimper about his ex-wife.  Boo-hoo.  Oh yeah, his psychic deputybot 2.0 is back and annoying as ever.  Anyway, Selleck gets shot in the arm while hanging out with his buddy in Boston.  Stuff happens and there's also the case of a missing baby.  It's just the same stuff we've already seen from the first four movies: trouble with the city council, taking the law into his own hands, Selleck is positive of the suspects guilt after only seeing the suspect for 10 seconds, drinks like a fish, women throwing themselves at him, horrible dialogue, he takes his dog everywhere but never pets the motherfucker, blah, blah, blah.

 

Not a horrible movie, definitely watchable, but just stale.  I feel like I'm revisiting the same rerun over and over.  And I never did understand his sudden hatred of that one deputy in the last film.  That was completely out of nowhere.  The reasoning behind that must have been edited out or something. 

Part 1 - Stone Cold (2005)
Part 2 - Jesse Stone: Night Passage (2006)
Part 3 - Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise (2006)
Part 4 - Jesse Stone: Sea Change (2007)
Part 6 - Jesse Stone: No Remorse (2010)
Part 7 - Jesse Stone: Innocents Lost (2011)
Part 8 - Jesse Stone: Benefit of the Doubt (2012)
Part 9 - Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise (2015)

JESSE STONE: SEA CHANGE (2007)

Selleck is getting bored by the lack of fresh murders in the small town of Paradise, so he decides to start investigating, in his spare time, an unsolved murder from 1992.  Of course, as soon as he starts getting into the case...another teenage girl gets raped (what is up with this town and rape?  Jesus!) and his (already dim-witted) officer "Suitcase" wakes from his coma (Remember?  He got shot in the head in the last movie.) and starts waking around like a psychic crime solving robot Deputybot 2.0 rejected from an early draft of Twin Peaks.

I liked the main mystery, but this series is starting to get into a rut.  It's the same thing over and over.  Crime, Selleck moping around whimpering over his ex-wife, investigates crime, carries groceries over bridge with his dog, drinks a lot, solves crime, drinks more, The End.  Also, what the hell is up with that dog?  He's horrible.  First off, he lets his original owner get killed in Part 1, so Selleck adopts him and how does he repay him?  He lets an armed killer not only into the house, but in the same room with Selleck and he never barks once!!  Maybe it's because Selleck never pets him.

Mildly entertaining watch, but there's zero tension.  I was really hoping for something more substantial by this point in the series.  At least his goddamn ex-wife has finally quit calling as much.  Strong supporting cast.

Part 1 - Stone Cold (2005)
Part 2 - Jesse Stone: Night Passage (2006)
Part 3 - Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise (2006)
Part 5 - Jesse Stone: Thin Ice (2009)
Part 6 - Jesse Stone: No Remorse (2010)
Part 7 - Jesse Stone: Innocents Lost (2011)
Part 8 - Jesse Stone: Benefit of the Doubt (2012)
Part 9 - Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise (2015)

BIOZOMBIE (1998)

Woody and Bee are two wanna be tough guys who do nothing all day but walk around an indoor mall hooting at girls, playing video games in their crappy bootleg video store and occasionally running light errands for a local hood.  Life is pretty boring.  That is until an evil soda that turns people into zombies gets loose!  That always seems to liven up the day.  It worked in SURF II.  So now, locked in a mall after hours with a rising population of zombies Woody and Bee have no choice but to run around a lot, scream even more, but still take time to make observations about women's breast.

DAWN OF THE DEAD it's not, but it is a fun film and surprisingly innovative in both the cinematography and story.  Nerd zombie in love with girl has her eat human meat to convince the other zombies that she's one of them, video game style onscreen pop ups, pipe with faucet weapon to drain blood, cordless drill into mouth, Woody handcuffed to a gigantic computer monitor and when they find the key Bee accidentally drops the key into a zombie's mouth.

BIOZOMBIE isn't scary or a gorefest or a masterpiece of zombie cinema, but it's still an enjoyable ride...at least the first half, it kinda slows down towards the end.  Worth a watch if you're a zombie fan.