EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1977)

"It was horrible, utterly horrible... and fascinating!"

I have a feeling that the makers of EXORCIST II had no idea what the public wanted.  If they had, they damn sure wouldn't have made this mess!

A few years after the events of the original film, Regan is in therapy and the Vatican wants to know why Father Merrin died.  So they send in Father Richard Burton to investigate.  He meets Regan and her therapist and even sits in on a session where they use a "synchronizer" that connects two people's brainwaves (...it's all very silly) and low and behold Pazuzu shows up!  Burton has a vision of a younger Father Merrin fighting Pazuzu in Ethiopia, so he travels there for answers.  Does he get them?  I have no idea, because by this time my eyes had already rolled back in my head six hundred and sixty-six times and I was getting dizzy.

I'm sure the filmmakers had they hearts in the right place, but unfortunately they didn't have their brains in the right place, cause if they had they would have just made another film just like the original except make it even more violent and more perverse!  The original shocked the money out of audiences pocketbooks with a creepy atmospheric buildup that boiled over into a final act exploding with blasphemy, perversion and sickness.  None of that happens in the sequel.  The closest we get is at the end when Regan goes back to the house and wears some yellow contacts.  Wow.

Every film has it's fans and I'm sure E2TH is no different, but from a horror standpoint this film is a complete waste of time that's full of metaphysical baloney, absurd dialogue, Richard Burton putting out a roaring fire with a crutch(!!!) and dreamy imaginary instead of gooey demon makeup, crucifix fucking and projectile vomit.

Not a bad film but the fans deserved better.  Worth watching for the curiosity factor alone.

Original trilogy
Part 1 - The Exorcist (1973)
Part 3 - Exorcist III (1990)

Prequel films
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)

Sequel trilogy
Sequel 1 - The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

U-571 (2000)

U-571 is probably about as historically correct as THE LAST STARFIGHTER, but I don't care.  If you go into a movie starring Matthew McConaughey and Jon Bon Jovi expecting historical accuracy you're gonna be in for a bad time.

Set in the early days of America's involvement in WWII, there's a German submarine containing a extremely important coding machine.  The Americans will do anything to get it so they dress up one of their own subs to look like a Nazi one and send it in under the disguise of being a Nazi rescue ship.  I'm not gonna give too much away, but things don't go quite as planned and non-Captain McConaughey has to commandeer the Nazi ship and limp this half-broken mother back to England through Nazi infested waters.

Revisionist history complaints aside U-571 is an mildly entertaining film.  The idea for the story is pretty gripping, but the execution is only average.  I can't really put my finger on it, but despite the tight situations these guys got themselves into I never had any doubt that they would get out of it...or really even care if they got out of it.  Bon Jovi, predictable story, average action scenes, Harvey Keitel underused, dated CGI, noble sailors sacrificing themselves, lots of yelling, nearly all male cast. Worth a watch, if you're into submarine films, but overall it's pretty forgettable.  I was hoping for more.

THE RIVER WILD (1994)

I've never really thought of Meryl Streep as an action star, but here she is splashing around, leg muscles pumping while saving her family from some bad guys.

Meryl Streep loves floating around on the river, so much so she takes her twerp son, her city slicker husband and her awesome dog on a rafting trip.  Things go as expected: the son is an annoying little bastard, the husband is confused and the dog is awesome.  Then, in a plot twist that's telegraphed from the moment they get to the river, some of the other rafters are actually criminals that have just pulled off a big heist and even killed some people!  Soon, Streep and family are taken hostage by the bad guys, who want Streep to guide them past some really dangerous rapids further down the river in an attempt to out maneuver the coppers.

Zero nudity, zero gore, low violence, very little tension, zero cussing, John C. Reilly's belly, Kevin Bacon topless, beautiful scenery, Lollapalooza hat, Ministry hat, solid acting, good pace, beautiful scenery.  Maybe one day somebody will remake this with a darker storyline filled with sexual violence, wet t-shirts, no kid, ultra revenge violence, gore, a Cannibal Corpse hat and another awesome dog.

Despite some holes in the story (husband outrunning the river, John C. Reilly as threatening, etc.) I enjoyed THE RIVER WILD for what it is: a satisfying mid-90's thriller/lazy afternoon timewaster. Double-feature with SHOOT TO KILL.