THE TERMINATOR (1984)

Los Angeles, 1984.  Sarah Connor is about to have a bad day.

Little does Sarah know, while riding a scooter to her waitressing job, but she is about to be the focus of one of the most important events in human history.  The simplified version (as to not spoil the story or the sequels too much) is in 1997, a super intelligent and self-aware computer system called Skynet launches a worldwide nuclear assault on humanity.  In the aftermath, some humans band together to form The Resistance.  Their leader is one John Connor, son of Sarah Connor.  For decades they fight the robot army controlled by Skynet.  Finally, in 2029, on the verge of defeat, Skynet sends a cyborg assassin back in time to 1984 to kill John Connor's mother before he is even born.  Not a bad idea, except that the Resistance also sends back a human, Kyle Reese, to protect Sarah.  What follows is exciting as fook!

THE TERMINATOR is without a doubt one of the the most influential movies of all time.  Not just on other movies, but on popular culture as well.  As for me, I've seen it, at least, a hundred times.  The story is brilliant (not only is it action-packed and thought provoking, but it's actually romantic as well), perfect use of slow-motion, the direction and editing are unbelievable (there is not a single wasted moment in the entire film, every single scene is moving it forward!), it looks amazing and the acting is great all the way through.  Outside of a few minor goofs (car headlights in the police station scene, gun sounds, etc.), THE TERMINATOR is an outstanding film and entertaining even after numerous viewings.  A timeless classic.

Part 2 - Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
Part 3 - Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Part 4 - Terminator Salvation (2009)
Part 5 - Terminator Genisys (2015)
Part 6 - Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

SAVAGE BEACH (1989)

Opening with a drug raid in Hawaii and then some much needed topless time in the hot tub, two female DEA agents then set out in a small plane to deliver some medicine for sick children on a remote island.  Along the way, they run into a storm that fucks up their plane and they end up landing on a deserted island.  Deserted, that is, except for the Japanese soldier who's been living there for over 40 years...and is still wearing the same clothes!!!  At the same time, an undercover CIA agent infiltrates a gang of assholes who are looking for lost Japanese WWII gold.  I think you can see where this is going.  That's right, they all end up on the same deserted island running around killing each other...and flirting.

As somebody who watched 69 million hours of late-night cable back in the 90's, I think I've seen about every low-budget sex/action movie there is and I've always had a soft (or should I say hard?) spot for the films of Andy Sidaris.  They are simply pure entertainment from beginning to end.  The stories are always crazy as hell and filled with amazing dialogue.  I love the scene in this film where the male DEA agent is delivering some new weapons to a female agent:

Male: "I want you to see this special equipment I have for you."

Female: "Well, we're pretty isolated here and I don't always get my share."

Male: "Are you comfortable with a big gun?"

Female: "They have their advantages."

Male: "This baby's larger than most anything around."

Female: "Well, I'm not as impressed with size...as I am with performance."

Male: "Once loaded and cocked, all you need is a steady hand on the barrel."

Quick pace, ridiculous story, lots of topless ladies, a low budget stretched a long way, interesting acting by a good cast, ancient computers, beautiful Hawaii scenery, horribly hilarious "old man" make-up, cocaine hidden in a pineapple, awesome 80's fashions, a quick Andy Sidaris appearance (the CB radio operator), tight t-shirts and short shorts.

These type of films aren't for everybody, but my life would be sadder without them.

BAD RONALD (1974)

Teenager Ronald Wilby is a weirdo.  And when a young neighborhood girl says as much, Ronald does then only logical thing you could do in a situation like that: he caves her head in with a brick and then buries her in a shallow grave.  When Ronald's mom hears about this, she's understandably upset, but not because he killed somebody, but because this is going to ruin Ronald's chances of getting into medical school!  She then hatches the brilliant idea of hiding Ronald in a secret room hidden behind the pantry.  This works out alright at first, but then, when the mother dies and a new family (with three sexy teenage girls) moves in, things go from bad to worse.  It also doesn't help that Ronald is as crazy as a shithouse rat.

The basic story idea is full to bursting with all kinds of perverted possibilities...and none of them ever happen (since this is a 1970's TV movie), but it's still fun to think about!  A creepy male teenage virgin lurking in the walls of a house populated with three attractive teenage girls...maybe the youngest girl thinks Ronald is an imaginary friend come to life; or the oldest girl is a murder groupie and talks Ronald into murdering her family; Ronald comes out of his hiding place, ties up the entire family and starts raping and eating everybody; Ronald kidnaps one girl and holds her captive in the walls; how about an alternate reality sequel where the murderous Ronald is hiding in the walls...when a family of psychopaths move in!  Now Ronald is hiding for his life.

Anyway, as it is, BAD RONALD is interesting to see what people were watching on TV back on October 23, 1974. I imagine any youngsters who saw this back then were probably pretty creeped out by the idea of weird Ronald watching them through their walls. As for me, I enjoyed the story and got a kick out of seeing Kim Hunter, a young Dabney Coleman and brief appearances by John Fiedler and John Larch.