DOUBLE IMPACT (1991)

While in China, an American businessman and his wife are murdered by some goons employed by his business partner.  Their identical twin boys, both still infants, are separated.  One is raised as an orphan in China and the other is raised by the businessman's bodyguard (Geoffrey Lewis) in Los Angeles.  They both happen to learn karate, but style their hair differently.

Twenty-five years later, the bodyguard and one of the twins return to China, where they quickly discover the other brother.  Together, the three of them (and one of the twin's girlfriend) team up to get revenge on the assholes who murdered their parents.

All in all, DOUBLE IMPACT is a watchable early 90's actioner.  The story moves along at a reasonable pace, the fighting is okay, a couple of titties sneak out, interesting 90's Hong Kong locations, good supporting cast (including Geoffrey Lewis and Bolo Yeung), cheesy special effects etc.

The one thing that did disappoint me though was both of Van Damme's characters liked each other.  I was hoping that they would hate each other.  For example: When the twins get separated at the beginning of the film, I was hoping that the twin left in China would be taken in by the killers and raised to be a ruthless gangster...while the twin taken to America would be raised to be a dork.  Or vice versa, but...that didn't happen.

Worth a watch for action fans, but nothing to get excited about.  If you need me, I'll be in my room watching a better action movie from 1991: STONE COLD.

NIGHT OF THE COMET (1984)

The Earth passes through the tail of a comet. The majority of humans (those who looked directly at the comet) are turned into dust.  The remaining survivors are either slowly dying, turned into zombies or completely normal.  Two of the latter are Regina and Samantha, two twenty-something year-old "teenagers", who, after mourning for a few minutes, go to the mall for a shopping spree!  Yaayyy!!!

That actually sounds like an interesting idea for a movie, but it wasn't.  Instead of a cleverly written story with some terminally upbeat teenage girls in the middle of a zombie outbreak (I'm thinking THE YOUNG GRADUATES meets DAWN OF THE DEAD here), we get the boring story of two boring young women with boring personalities who honestly don't do much of anything.  Just lots of standing around and talking with only a few minutes worth of action.  Sub 80's television-level action, at that!

I'm sure there are of fans of NIGHT OF THE COMET, and I'm glad that you enjoyed it, but for a movie with such potential (unexpected zombies, a blonde high school cheerleader in distress, 80's fashions, extreme population reduction, cool movie posters, arcade video game cabinets, a movie theater, great supporting cast, a secret military base, etc.), I found the whole thing to be disappointing.

If you need me, I'll be in my room watching THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD or Catherine Mary Stewart's other 1984 film...the truly great THE LAST STARFIGHTER.

Also, I swear to Satan, that animatronic clown is the same one in PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE. And speaking of Pee-wee Herman...how come there's never been a movie called PEE-WEE'S BIG HERMAN?

THE BLACKCOAT'S DAUGHTER (2015)

"Don't go."

I like Satan. As far as imaginary characters go, I think he's pretty cool.  He ranks right up there with Kermit the Frog and Menlo Schwartzer.

Two young ladies, for different reasons, have to stay a few extra days at their all-girl boarding school during the winter break.  Things go okay during the first night, well...except for the demon sighting and the Satan worshiping in the basement (or as I like to call it: Thursday), but after that things get pretty crunk.

If you're looking for a ballz to the wall gorefest, then keep looking, but if you're down for a slow-moving, thought provoking and thoroughly entertaining dark tale, then THE BLACKCOAT'S DAUGHTER should keep you happy.  There's not any nudity or excessive amounts of blood, but the story is definitely fucked up!  I loved the ending.  The music was awesome also.  It really fit the film.

Double-feature with Kubrick's THE SHINING.

Fun fact: the boarding school the girls go to, Bramford, shares the same name as the apartment building in ROSEMARY'S BABY.