PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)

"We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives."

An elderly man, still mourning the recent passing of his late wife, is killed in a car accident.  Mourners leaving his funeral find the mutilated corpses of two graveyard workers.  The police are called and soon even more bodies start to pile up.  At the same time, two commercial airplane pilots report seeing an unidentified flying object, but the government covers it up.  These two events might not seem related, but they are!  You see, advanced extraterrestrials have been watching Earth for a very long time.  As we became more and more advanced.  Inventing the atom bomb, then the hydrogen bomb, but now...humans are on the verge of inventing the Solaranite bomb which will explode sunlight itself and, of course, the Universe!  The aliens have tried multiple times (I'm guessing 8?) to contact us, but The Man always covers it up, so they've moved on to Plan 9: zombies!

The most surprising thing that first time viewers will discover about PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is it's not that bad of a film!  It's honestly just low budget and rough around the edges.  The story itself is entertaining and funny, the pace is good and the acting...well, the acting is pretty stiff, but it's still enjoyable.  The lieutenant's pistol handling skills alone are worth the price of admission!   Yeah, the sets look cheap, but the stuff like the microphone shadows and edges of props being visible is because the film was shot for the 1.85:1 aspect ratio, but all of the home video releases (as of 4/2020) have been in 1.33:1.  So, the viewer ends up seeing things that were not meant to be seen.

As it is though, I still love P9FOS.  It's such a weird movie and it's 100% Ed Wood.  Nobody else in the Universe could have made PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.  That should at least stand for something.  Ed only made a handful of good films, but goddamn, are they unique and charming.  And I think that is the best way to describe PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: charming.

Required viewing for fans of "bad movies".  

Not part of the review, but I would absolutely love to see a 100% serious retelling of Ed's original Plan 9 story idea.  I'm talking serious like ARRIVAL or something like that.  I honestly think, in the correct hands, this story could be straight up awesome!!!

ANGEL HEART (1987)

New York City, 1955. Low-rent private detective Mickey Rourke is hired by the mysterious Robert De Niro to locate a man who did not fulfill his contract with De Niro due to a neurological injury he suffered during WWII.  An injury that's exactly like the one that Mickey Rourke also suffered in WWII...which caused him to lose his memory!  What are the odds?!!!  Anyway, the clues soon lead Rourke to New Orleans where he snoops around and a number of people end up dead.  One dude with his ping-ding cut off.

I love Satan as much as the next person, but ANGEL HEART really takes the viewers intelligence for granted.  I would find it hard to believe that anybody could not correctly predict the ending of the movie within the first 10 minutes.  But whatever, it's still a mildly entertaining ride.  Chickens, nice photography, boring nudity, glowing eyeballs that looked dumb as hell, okay pace, unbelievable story, style over substance, good acting, mediocre script, promises of violence that's never shown on screen, disappointing ending.

I'd really like to see somebody take another shot at this story.  It's a good idea.  In the correct hands it could be creepy and disturbing as fook.  Unfortunately, this version is just a solid "average".