SABOTAGE (2014)

I've been less than impressed with the films that Arnold has been putting out since his return to the big screen and SABOTAGE does absolutely nothing to change my opinion.  This time around Arnold is the leader of a DEA Special Ops team that are apparently above the law or something.  Seems like their job duties entail: smashing in drug dealers front door, screaming "fuck" nonstop and killing everybody.  Things take a turn when somebody starts killing all of the agents one at a time.

Now if the story had just stuck to that it and told it in a linear manner it might not have been too bad.  Instead, SABOTAGE starts the story in the middle and then proceeds to jump around all over the place.  It's unneeded and probably(?) done as a distraction from the point that the story's weak.  Or maybe the filmmakers were just trying to be fancy.  Who knows?  Who cares?  The other thing that I disliked was just how unlikable all of the characters are.  Every single one of these scumbags were total trash.  It seemed like the only difference between them and the drug dealers were what side of the law they were on.

Anyway, standard action scenes that are done to death nowadays with the video game stylizing, gritty cinematography, etc., the word "fuck" uttered at least 150 times, brief bonerless tits, weak story, two actors from "Lost", impressive cast that is ultimately wasted.  Maybe I'm just getting old, but I'm really unimpressed with the majority of action movies that come out nowadays.  I would love nothing more than to see Arnold again in something awesome like PREDATOR or COMMANDO, but instead he keeps wasting my time with these soulless clunkers.  Skip it.

DEAD SNOW 2: RED VS. DEAD (2014)

Well I'll be fucked with a rancid zombie penis...this movie was actually good!  Really good in fact.  After being underwhelmed by the original I wasn't too thrilled about the prospect of watching the sequel, but I did and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed it and how much of an improvement it was over that original snoozer.

Opening up immediately where the original stopped, we have the lone survivor, Martin, running from the Nazi zombies.  Stuff happens and he escapes but wrecks his car.  When he awakens in the hospital he's informed that not only has he been blamed for the murder of all of his friends, but the doctors have reattached his arm...only it's not his arm.  It's the Nazi leader dude's magical arm!!!  Hahahaha!!  After accidentally killing a few people with his murderous zombie arm, Martin escapes from the hospital and goes off in pursuit of the Nazi zombies who are now en route to finish a job that Hitler himself ordered them to do back in the war: wipe out a small Norwegian town that had performed some anti-Axis sabotage.

I'm not going to give away any more of the story, but I will say that if you enjoy light-hearted zombie classics like DEAD ALIVE or THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, then I think you'll have a blast with DS2:RVD.  The humor is actually funny, great imagination, quick pace, good special effects, pretty girls (zero nudity though: boooo!!!!) and a satisfying ending (also make sure to watch the post-credits scene).  Good stuff.

I was not a fan of the original film, but I will proudly admit to the whole world that this sequel is really good and ranks right up there with WRONG TURN 4 in the Low Budget Horror Movie Sequel That's Actually Better Than The Original Hall of Fame.  Now I can't wait for Part 3!!!

Part 1 - Dead Snow (2009)