POLTERGEIST (2015)

As far as soulless horror remakes go this POLTERGEIST remake was..watchable.

If you've already seen the original, then you already know the story: suburban family of five, little girl talks to ghosts in the TV, things go bump in the night, the creepy tree grabs the boy, the little girl gets pulled into a portal in the closet, paranormal investigators are called in, gadgets and cameras, a rope is put into the closet portal and exits out of the living room ceiling portal, girl's rescued, ghosts are still pissed, family drives away.  The End.

I wasn't expecting much from this needless remake and I didn't get much.  The whole thing was just a pointless cash grab.  I could talk about how the added "financial hardship" storyline made little sense, but honestly it probably just comes down to the writers being lazy or simply not caring.  Poor acting, charmless story, average special effects, teenage daughter looking hot as fook, a song by Bleached, unsatisfying ending, no neighbors and a guy with a dorky hat.

Seeing talented actors like Jared Harris and Sam Rockwell wasting their time in soulless fluff like this kinda made me sad.

Part 1 - Poltergeist (1982)
Part 2 - Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)
Part 3 - Poltergeist III (1988)

POLTERGEIST III (1988)

"Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol Anne!"

When this film starts out in a new location and with Carol Anne living with relatives, I was pretty stoked. The second film was okay but it seemed too much like the original to be truly enjoyable. "A new location and fresh blood would probably do the series well." I thought inside my incredibly handsome brain.  I was wrong.

Carol Anne is now living with her aunt's family (Tom Skerritt, Nancy Allen and Lara Flynn Boyle) in the John Hancock Center in Chicago.  She seems to be pretty happy and the beginning of the film was enjoyable (especially that smart ass girl in the car pool van), but then Rev. Kane shows back up and things return to their normal haunting bullshit: cold temperatures, disappearing reflections in windows, creepy faces, reflections in mirrors not matching, blinking lights, smoke, loud noises, blah, blah, blah.

POLTERGEIST III definitely had the opportunity to be awesome.  It had a respectable budget and the idea of ghosts haunting a skyscraper is very cool, but, unfortunately, instead of centering on teenagers partying and skinny dipping in the swimming pool, the filmmakers dedicated nearly 66.6% of the film to Carol Anne running up and down hallways and stairwells while the rest of the cast yells her name non-stop.  It was extremely tiresome.  The runtime was only 98 minutes, but if felt like 150.

Worth a watch if you are wanting to finish the series, but if you are looking for an entertaining horror movie then skip it.  The most interesting thing about this film is the 80's fashions.

[Pointless fun fact that isn't part of the review: I saw this in the theater on opening weekend in Dallas, TX and there were only three people in the theater. My friend, myself and some lone nerd up front.]

Part 1 - Poltergeist (1982)
Part 2 - Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)
Remake - Poltergeist (2015)