BLOODY MISTAKE III (2009)

This will probably be the shittiest “review” (or whatever it is I do on here) on Happyotter, but there’s really nothing that I can say about this film without giving something away. It is just packed to the brim (even the very first scene) with awesome story revelations. The movie is only 67 minutes long but I was rewinding it and yelling so much that it probably took me over three hour to watch the whole thing. There’s so much going on in this movie, that I rewatched some of it today and even started drawing a diagram to figure out the story! It’s fucking awesome!

I doubt anybody who’s involved with this film will ever see this, but if you do: Thank you. I really mean it. I had so much fun watching this series that I’ve been smiling all week. And I’m already handsome as fuck so now I’m just that much more handsomeomererier or something with this big goofy grin on my mug.

Fuck me, that scene with Ken’s mom was one of the greatest moments in movie history. I was over here yelling “Ohhhhhhh!” like Andrew Dice Clay back in 1990.

Fuck it, if you love awesome movies, then you need to check out this entire series. And if anybody has anything else like this, then for the love of Satan please mail me that shit. My PO Box is listed somewhere around here.

Part 1 - Bloody Mistake (2009)
Part 2 - Bloody Mistake II (2009)

POLICE ACADEMY: MISSION TO MOSCOW (1994)

There’s a scene in the movie where Tackleberry and Jones are attempting to break into a combination wall safe. Tackleberry wants to shoot it with a pistol, but Jones has a better idea. He puts his face near the safe and makes tumbler clicking noises. The safe unlocks. That’s all you really need to know about POLICE ACADEMY: MISSION TO MOSCOW.

I don’t know why this film was made. You would think that since the filmmakers took 5 years between City Under Siege and this film, that they would have had plenty of time to develop a hilarious script, but nope, this movie is dead on arrival. Honestly, it’s kind of impressive that somebody can make an 82-minute comedy and not one single funny (or even amusing) thing happens during the entire film. I’ve seen dozens of episodes of Midsomer Murders that were funnier than POLICE ACADEMY: MISSION TO MOSCOW, not because it’s a comedy (it’s a cozy mystery show about brutal murders), but simply because MM has amazing writers and occasionally humorous things happen to lighten the mood.

I’m sure that there were many, many talented people involved with the making of Police Academy 7, but unfortunately very little of that talent made it to the screen. I did enjoy some of the scenery and locations and a few of the extras seemed fine. Other than that, I was just dumbfounded by how void of funny the entire thing was. So, in that regard, it’s kinda worth watching.

Definitely not the worst thing I’ve ever seen or even close to it, POLICE ACADEMY: MISSION TO MOSCOW is more like a series of moving images that kinda develop into an uninteresting story. A nothing movie.

Part 1 - Police Academy (1984)
Part 2 - Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985)
Part 3 - Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986)
Part 4 - Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Part 5 - Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Part 6 - Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)