Tuesday, June 1, 2021

A VIEW TO A KILL (1985)

When the opening moments of a film has a 57-year-old man standing at a complete standstill and then, seconds later, snowboarding up a snow-covered mountain so fast that he kicks two soldiers in the face and then escapes in a submarine disguised as an iceberg…you know you’re in for a good time. As far as older James Bond films goes, I actually enjoyed this one. It was goofy as hell, but highly entertaining.

After teaching some Siberian soldiers the gentle art of snowboard2face fu, Bond is back in London where he learns that a wealthy industrialist, Max Zorin (Christopher Walken), might be up to some nefarious shit.  Which probably isn't a surprise considering his shockingly dark origin story.  Holy shit!  Anyway, to get to the bottom of all of this bullshit, Bond is gonna have to sling some serious ding-a-ling and maybe even jump a stolen fire engine over a drawbridge.

Quick pace, multiple things that were later spoofed in the Austin Power series, the world's most inept drawbridge operator, Q once again peeping on Bond fucking, awesome vintage electronics, dope older hair styles and fashions, old cars, a reference to THE DEER HUNTER (?), "a double earthquake", cool locations, overly complicated ways of killing people, a brief Dolph Lundgren sighting, a bad guy who already has more money than god...risking his life to get even more money, a random Beach Boys cover song, a wet t-shirt, cool theme song by Duran Duran, not enough screentime for Grace Jones, a complete disregard for mental trauma, explosions, mass murder, impressive stunts, a woman getting snuck up on in a large open area by...a fucking blimp!

Roger Moore might have been too elderly to realistically be believable as a super spy jumping all over top of the Golden Gate Bridge, but who gives a fuck?  I just want to be entertained and Roger Moore was a great 1980's James Bond.

Three and a half thunderballs out of five.

Part 1 - Dr. No (1962)
Part 2 - From Russia With Love (1963)
Part 3 - Goldfinger (1964)
Part 4 - Thunderball (1965)
Part 5 - You Only Live Twice (1967)
Part 6 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Part 7 - Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Part 8 - Live and Let Die (1973)
Part 9 - The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Part 10 - The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Part 11 - Moonraker (1979)
Part 12 - For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Part 13 - Octopussy (1983)
Part 15 - The Living Daylights (1987)
Part 16 - License to Kill (1989)
Part 17 - GoldenEye (1995)
Part 18 - Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Part 19 - The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Part 20 - Die Another Day (2002)
Part 21 - Casino Royale (2006)
Part 22 - Quantum of Solace (2008)
Part 23 - Skyfall (2012)
Part 24 - Spectre (2015)
Part 25 - No Time to Die (2021)

Non-Eon James Bond films:
Casino Royale (1967)
Never Say Never (1983)