Tuesday, June 1, 2021
A VIEW TO A KILL (1985)
After teaching some Siberian soldiers the gentle art of snowboard2face fu, Bond is back in London where he learns that a wealthy industrialist, Max Zorin (Christopher Walken), might be up to some nefarious shit. Which probably isn't a surprise considering his shockingly dark origin story. Holy shit! Anyway, to get to the bottom of all of this bullshit, Bond is gonna have to sling some serious ding-a-ling and maybe even jump a stolen fire engine over a drawbridge.
Quick pace, multiple things that were later spoofed in the Austin Power series, the world's most inept drawbridge operator, Q once again peeping on Bond fucking, awesome vintage electronics, dope older hair styles and fashions, old cars, a reference to THE DEER HUNTER (?), "a double earthquake", cool locations, overly complicated ways of killing people, a brief Dolph Lundgren sighting, a bad guy who already has more money than god...risking his life to get even more money, a random Beach Boys cover song, a wet t-shirt, cool theme song by Duran Duran, not enough screentime for Grace Jones, a complete disregard for mental trauma, explosions, mass murder, impressive stunts, a woman getting snuck up on in a large open area by...a fucking blimp!
Roger Moore might have been too elderly to realistically be believable as a super spy jumping all over top of the Golden Gate Bridge, but who gives a fuck? I just want to be entertained and Roger Moore was a great 1980's James Bond.
Three and a half thunderballs out of five.
Part 1 - Dr. No (1962)
Part 2 - From Russia With Love (1963)
Part 3 - Goldfinger (1964)
Part 4 - Thunderball (1965)
Part 5 - You Only Live Twice (1967)
Part 6 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Part 7 - Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Part 8 - Live and Let Die (1973)
Part 9 - The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Part 10 - The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Part 11 - Moonraker (1979)
Part 12 - For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Part 13 - Octopussy (1983)
Part 15 - The Living Daylights (1987)
Part 16 - License to Kill (1989)
Part 17 - GoldenEye (1995)
Part 18 - Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Part 19 - The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Part 20 - Die Another Day (2002)
Part 21 - Casino Royale (2006)
Part 22 - Quantum of Solace (2008)
Part 23 - Skyfall (2012)
Part 24 - Spectre (2015)
Part 25 - No Time to Die (2021)
Non-Eon James Bond films:
Casino Royale (1967)
Never Say Never (1983)