MAID-DROID (2009)

[Update 03/02/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

What the fuck is the point of this movie? On the one hand you have the police investigating the case of a Rape Machine that's going around raping women in dark alleys and then on the other hand you have a sad story about a old man who was raised by a maid-droid and now, many decades later, her batteries have gone dead so the old man spends his last lonely days talking to the inanimate robot shell and being extremely depressing. Then out of nowhere there's a long scene in the middle about a guy testing out a illegally modified sexbot that ends up exploding his dick. It's all so discombobulated.

The stuff about the Rape Machine sounds interesting, but it was horrible because it looks so goddamn shitty. The pervert test-driving the sexbot was humorous, but not erotic. Finally, the story about the old man pining away over his lifelong partner having a dead battery was actually touching and surprisingly thought provoking. The entire movie should have just been this story and the other stuff trashed. The girl who played the maid did a great job as did the older man, but I cannot recommend this movie. The filmmakers really dropped the ball because they had the makings of a good movie but instead they shot off in multiple directions for no reason.

Fair amount of tits, but it's not erotic. Only the actual maid scenes are hot, but they're over too quickly. There's no way anybody could jack off this this. Skip it.

CHARACTER (1997)

Set in the early 1900's, the boringly-titled CHARACTER tells the story of a stern quiet man who bangs his maid once and they produce a baby boy. She leaves before the child is born and the man stalks her and even proposes to her, but she refuses over and over. The child grows up, but the woman is not much of a mother. She rarely speaks and doesn't have a loving nature. Despite this, the boy grows into a successful young man and even goes to law school. Throughout all of this his father and him have a quiet (and sometimes violent) ongoing war of wits to shows each other who's the boss.

The characters in CHARACTER are so rich that watching the movie is almost like reading a novel. It's like the darker elements of a Dickens novel come to live. A poor boy with no future rises from the ghetto purely by his intelligence and his intense hatred of his father. While the father who goes out of his way to torture the boy because he thinks it will make him strong.

Excellent performances by everybody (especially Jan Decleir as the brutal father), impressive costumes, nice photography.  I don't know how well it would hold up under repeat viewings, it's easy to see why it won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.

TERRORVISION (1986)

"This dude's into metal!"

Before Tim Burton made it big and long before Adult Swim there was TERRORVISION, the almost live action cartoon story of two married swingers who just want is a nice quiet evening of fucking strangers. But noooo! That's can't happen cause their son Sherman wants to watch monster movies, Grandpa is going on about End of Days survivalist bullshit, new waver daughter Suzy has brought over her metalhead boyfriend O.D. (played by King Vidiot himself!!!) and to top it all off a flesh-eating mutated dog creature from outer space has invaded their house through the new satellite dish! Now the orgy guest are getting eaten and everybody's knocking on the door! The TV repair guy, the cops, even the late night horror host with big tits and a Medusa wig. It's insanity! Pure 80's insanity.

I have no idea if this movie made any money or if anybody else besides me even likes it, but it's wildly imaginative, very well made and deserves to be better known than it is. I love every minute of it. TERRORVISION stands strong alongside other classic silly comedies of the 80's like SURF II or JOYSTICKS. Don't be totally rude, check it out!