GHOST SHIP (2002)

More like ghost shit, amirite?

GHOST SHIP wasn't as good as I was expecting...and I was expecting it to suck.  The story is about a long lost snooze ship that's just floatin' around out in the ocean for like 40 years when some salvage dudes find it.  Nothing happens for a long time until eventually the salvage crew figures out that there's more to this ship than meets the eye.  They try to escape but it's too late...they're firmly in the sleep inducing clutches of a ghost.  A really boring ghost.

Zero scares, zero gore, zero logic, shitty CG, piss poor topless scene, zero fucks given.  I'm sure there's some people out there who love GHOST SHIP, but I'm not one of them and I can't even see why it's even considered a "horror" movie cause nothing even remotely scary happens the entire movie.  The story has potential, but flushes it all away.  Skip it with a vengeance.

If you need me I'll be in my room watching the ghost ship episode of The X-Files.

THE APPARITION (2012)

The only reason to watch this stinker is Ashley Greene.

Young couple live in a big house.  Creepy stuff starts to happen cuz somebody pissed off a ghost.  Yawn.

Zero scares, zero blood, zero gore, zero tits, zero sense.  Fuck this boring turd.

[REC] 3: GENESIS (2012)

Whoa!  Now we're heading in the right direction.  Wisely abandoning the shaky cam bullshit from the first two movies, [REC] 3 tells the story (in normal camera mode) of a wedding attacked by demon possessed people.  One of the wedding guests was bitten by the dog mentioned in Part 1.  At the start of the movie the dude is feeling fine and having fun.  The wedding is going about as well as a wedding can go (it looks like Hell on Earth to me), but then things actually do turn into Hell on Earth when homeboy turns into a full fledged monster and starts biting people who in turn bite and infect others.  Shit quickly gets all cray and the bride and the groom, who's love for each other is stomach-turning, are separated but they can "sense" each others safety.  Oh brother!  Now they must fight through a ton of monsters to find each other.

Despite all the goofy love shit and the awful wedding singing, I enjoyed [REC] 3.  It wasn't as epic as EVIL DEAD 2 or DEAD ALIVE (mainly thanks to the script being the weakest part of the movie), but it was a fun ride with great looking zombies.  Worth a watch.  Now looking forward to Part 4!  

Part 1 - [Rec] (2007)
Part 2 - [Rec] 2 (2009)
Part 3 - [Rec] 4: Apocalypse (2014)
Remake - Quarantine (2008)
Remake Part 2 - Quarantine 2: Terminal (2011)

 If the infection is transmitted through blood then how come this guy doesn't turn into a "zombie"?