HEAVEN CAN WAIT (1978)

Los Angeles, California 1978. Due to a Heavenly boner, professional football player Warren Beatty’s soul is mistakenly removed from his body nearly 50 years before he is supposed to die. By the time the blunder is discovered Beatty’s body has been cremated. A representative from Heaven, James Mason, tells Beatty that his soul can be placed into the body of somebody that is about to die. Mason and Beatty, now invisible, journey back to Los Angeles where a wealthy industrialist has been drugged and left to drown in his bathtub by his cheating wife, Dyan Cannon, and his evil secretary Charles Grodin. So, while the millionaires soul leaves the body (to be tortured forever in the fiery pits of Hell, I assume), Beatty’s soul slithers in (via the butt?) and takes over. Anybody with an I.Q. over 17 would naturally get rid of the people who literally just murdered the former resident of this body, but nope, not Beatty. Instead, he befriends Grodin and spends his time reading business reports while the dastardly duo continue trying to kill him!

The older (and more attractive) I get, the more I find myself absolutely fascinated with 1970's Cinema.  I don't know exactly what it is, but there's just something so unique about the films of that era.  For example, HEAVEN CANNOT WAIT is not particularly good.  In fact, the story is dumb, the direction is average and it's not even an attractive movie to look at (example: Heaven is just an empty soundstage filled with fog), but yet...it was nominated for nine Academy Awards, including Best Picture!  It even won for Best Art Direction-Set Decoration.  Which doesn't even make sense, cause it was hard for me to even take screenshots for this review due to the fact that the entire film was so drab looking.  There were zero visually standout moments.  (And don't even get me started on the fact HEAVEN CAN WAIT beat out Woody Allen's gorgeous INTERIORS in that category.)

Anyway, even though HEAVEN CAN WAIT is not a great movie and the story is just a series of plot holes and it probably didn't deserve even one Oscar nomination let alone nine...I still enjoyed it.  Warren Beatty is charming, the comedy is so unfunny that it's kinda amusing, impressive cast, completely illogical romance story.  Worth checking out, but it could definitely be remade into something better.

FOOTLOOSE (1984)

"When you've burned all of these, what are you gonna do then?"

Twenty-six year-old high school student Kevin Bacon is bummed when his family moves from Chicago to a small town in Utah. He’s even more bummed when he discovers that not only is every other student in his new high school is at least 20 years-old, but the town has outlawed dancing and popular music! What the hell is going on here? Did he accidentally time-travel to 1939 Germany or America in 2050? Nope, he’s still in the 1980's, but these close-minded, pre-Fox News, book-burning, Bible-thumping Fascist wannabes really, really hate Kenny Loggins. So now it’s up to Kevin to add a little bacon to the No Fun Club members diet and show them how to rock! Even if he has to interpretive twerk out the lyrics to “We’re Not Gonna Take It” at a town council meeting!

From a purely filmmaking standpoint, FOOTLOOSE is only slightly above average with an overly simplified story, uneven pacing and wild mood swings. Not to mention being dated as fook nowadays. However, from an entertainment/cultural history standpoint: FOOTLOOSE is a goldmine! Especially if you’re into popular 1980’s American Cinema. Above average acting by a strong cast, a great soundtrack that sold over 9 million copies, lots of dancing, beautiful scenery, awesome 80's fashions, Kevin Bacon struttin’ his hot shit all over the place. FOOTLOOSE is a blast and one that I’ll happily revisit many times before I vogue my way into that great gay bar in the sky. That’s not to say there isn’t any flaws though, because there definitely is. The biggest one is the overall story should have been more upbeat. Also, the relationship between Chuck and Ariel is too dark. People watch FOOTLOOSE wanting to see upbeat dancing, teenagers standing up to oppression and people being happy…not some weak-minded hick assaulting his girlfriend!

One of the many great things about FOOTLOOSE, at least in my handsome brain, is just how ripe it is for expansion and other story ideas. It is literally endless. A few random thoughts I had while re-watching it for this review: (1) the ringleader of the book-burners is angered over Rev. Moore’s rebuke and while the kids are having their dance party he and his gang block the exits at the grain mill and burn it down. Killing all of the kids…which, of course, could lend to an extremely violent and graphic horror ghost-revenge sequel. (2) This has probably been done many times, but it would be a lot of fun to re-edit the audio in the music scenes to feature different music. This could honestly be done thousands of times and always be funny.  Example: in the scene where Bacon is driving into the high school parking lot blasting Quiet Riot's "Metal Health (Bang Your Head)", instead play Tear Da Club Up Thugs "Hell Naw". (3) Borrowing from the mandatory BIM dance scene in THE APPLE, you could go for a completely opposite story where a teen moves into a small town that is controlled by a pro-music cult that forces everybody to dance non-stop.

Overall, FOOTLOOSE is dated, but still a fun film. Definitely worth checking out. If you don't like it, then you're probably a busta.

Double-feature with BLACK ROSES.