POLICE ACADEMY 3: BACK IN TRAINING (1986)

Due to budgetary constraints, the still unnamed city (which this time looks like Toronto) must shut down one of their police academies. Which one could it possibly be? The one from the first film or the one we’ve never heard of until just a few seconds ago? Nobody knows. They’re gonna have to compete to find out. And by compete, you’d think it would be some kind of police Olympics or something with a score to follow, but nope it’s just some boring judges. So anyway, shit happens and Commandant Lassard calls in some of the cops from the first film to teach the new cadets. It’s literally just a bunch of shit we’ve already seen before except this time with zero nudity and lamer jokes. For example: a citizen is unhappy with a payphone, so psychopath Tackleberry shoots the phone; cadet Zed is so crazy that instead of using a key to start a police car, he hot-wires it with his mouth instead and one character (Nogata) is so smitten by the size of Callahan’s breast that he messes up what he was going to say. I mean, this is some real knee-slapper shit right there.

It's kind of surprising how fast this series turned to shit. Not that part 1 was amazing or anything, but it was at least entertaining. Part 3 though is barely even watchable. Early in the film, a fly lands on a woman’s face (how does she not feel that?) so Commandant Lassard just hauls off and hits the woman in the face so hard that she falls out of her chair! How is that even funny? Dude just assaulted a woman.

Zero nudity, zero laughs, dumb story, dumb characters, cheesy acting, dead on arrival humor. I don’t even know what the fuck was going on in the making of this movie. Like what about it did the filmmakers think that audiences wanted to see any of this? But it did make money, so what the fuck do I know?

I one part of the movie, some of the cadets are chilling out in the rec room watching V on television. When that happened, I remember thinking that I wish I was watching V instead myself. Now, after watching the rest of this clunker, I wish I had flipped over to V. Oh yeah, Tackleberry walked by and shot the television.

[Update 2/11/2025: Had a dream last night, a very serious dream in tone, about Mahoney and Hightower being on patrol in a post-apocalyptic situation and Mahoney is bitten on the shoulder by a zombie. But instead of calling it in, Hightower takes Mahoney to a park and they talk until Mahoney dies, then Hightower shoots him. It was kinda like in the original DAWN OF THE DEAD when Roger was bitten and Peter watches over him.]

Part 1 - Police Academy (1984)
Part 2 - Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985)
Part 4 - Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Part 5 - Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Part 6 - Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
Part 7 - Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)

POLICE ACADEMY 2: THEIR FIRST ASSIGNMENT (1985)

Alright, here we go. Six of the cadets (now police officers) from the first film are sent to the worst performing precinct of their still unnamed city. Which, this time, looks like Los Angeles and not Toronto. The chief of this precinct is the brother of Commandant Lassard from the first film. At the same time, a boot-licking Lieutenant Mauser is promised the chief’s job if the precinct doesn’t improve within 30 days. The main problem in the precinct is a gang of completely nonthreatening hoodlums called the Scullions. These punks are so weak that I think Eric Von Zipper’s Rats could beat their asses, but yet, they’ve got the entire neighborhood quacking, I mean, quaking in fear.

Police Academy 2 cost more money than the original and it brought in less money at the box office. And as a kid back in the 1980's I can tell you why: this shit was rated PG-13. There wasn't any internet back in the day, so if a movie is rated PG-13 you know there's not going to be any nudity. And if there is, it's just gonna be some split second bullshit. Add on top of that, the tired ass jokes and the lack of Sgt. Callahan (and her tight shirts) and Kim Cattrall and you’re gonna have less interest.

Overall, part 2 is an alright watch, but pretty boring. There are a few scenes that might make you smirk, but that’s about it. Rehashed jokes, okay pacing, weakass nudity, wasted L.A. locations, a single (dumbed down) Blue Oyster Bar scene that isn’t even funny, weak ending. I have more to say, but honestly POLICE ACADEMY 2 is a boring movie and I’m getting bored with this review.

Also, Lt. Mauser was okay, but he's not as funny as Lt. Harris.

[Update 1/30/25: I was doing some daydreaming inside my handsome brain today and what if in addition to Lassard’s brother, they also had Callahan’s sister? Leslie Easterbrook was reportedly unable to be in the film due to a pregnancy so they should have had Dyanne Thorne as her sister! Goddamn I’m a fucking genius.]

Part 1 - Police Academy (1984)
Part 3 - Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986)
Part 4 - Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Part 5 - Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Part 6 - Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
Part 7 - Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)