THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988)

Enjoyable (and trippy) lazy afternoon time-waster about an archaeologist in Derbyshire, England who finds a large serpent skull.  Soon after, all kinds of weird things start to happen, like the skull is stolen, a teenage boy is murdered, a cop is bitten by a snake and...a neighbor turns out to be a human-snake demon creature who worships the ancient snake god named Dionin.

As far as British-ancient-snake-cult-movies-starring-Hugh-Grant go, THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM isn't too bad.  Totally awesome 80's-looking surrealist images, blasphemy, pace that was too slow for it's own good, beautiful English scenery, numerous references to snakes, light nudity, mild violence, meh ending, complete dedication to the role by Amanda Donohoe (who pretty much carries the film), director cameo.  I just wish the film had spent less time on the characters needlessly talking and more on doing crazy shit like the dick bite scene.  Still, it's worth a watch for fans of mildly weird films about snakes.

I would love to see a THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM comedy remake where a detective is investigating a sudden rash of teenage boy corpses popping up with large snake bites on their ping-dings.  The writers behind "F is for Family" or "Brickleberry" should get to working on that for my amusement.

Double feature with RAWHEAD REX.

THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK (1984)

Loosely (I'm guessing) based on the "Sweet Gwendoline" comic character of the late 1940's and modified to fit with the popularity of the Indiana Jones/ROMANCING THE STONE-style films of the 1980's, THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK is the story of a woman who ran off to China in search of her missing father.  There's also something about a mysterious butterfly, but none of that matters.  The only thing that matters is when the three main characters (an average-looking woman, a dude and the unbelievably sexy - in an 80's kind of way - Tawny Kitaen) arrive at the all-female society.  Everything before that is just filler.  Once they get to the all-female society though, it's wall-to-wall topless women, bondage gear and Tawny Kitaen topless...a lot.  Fuuuuck yeah!!!

Outside of Tawny Kitaen topless, I can't really recommend TPOGITLOTYY.  The humor is so bad that I didn't even realize that it was a comedy until I watched the extras and the director said it was a comedy(!!!), sets that look just like sets, uninspired camerawork, overacting by everybody, pointless story that has zero emotional attachment, tons of (poorly filmed) topless women, zero erotic moments, zero good action scenes and a fake as fuck looking alligator.

That said, Tawny is still hot as fook!