HEREDITARY (2018)

"...the characters had no hope. They never had hope..."

HEREDITARY is fucking dope.  If you haven't seen it, fuck this shitty review and just go watch it.  Twice.  The first time to be disturbed and the second time to enjoy how masterfully director/writer Ari Aster unfolds the story.  The story itself, once you figure it out, isn't all that original (Remember Mary Young Cheney Greeley from your history classes?), but the way the story is presented on the screen is goddamn amazing.  I love it!  I wish there were more movies like this.  Hell, I wish I could live in a movie like this.  Especially the last act.

The home life of the Graham family ain't all that great.  Sure, they might live in an awesome house on a nice quiet neighborhood, but instead of living the good life, the daughter is cutting the heads off of small animals, the son is bashing his face into a desk, the father is bursting into flames and the mother, well, you don't even wanna know what she's up to!  Shit will give you fucking nightmares.

I could go on about HEREDITARY for a long time (the symbols, the stuff in the classrooms, the dude at the funeral, etc.), but I don't want to ruin it too much for anybody who hasn't seen it.  Just watch it.  Pay attention to the small details.  Put your goddamn phone down and pay attention.  Watch it alone.  At night.  With the lights down low.

If you need me, I'll be in my treehouse praying to Paimon for Hereditary 2: Electric Boogaloo. 

P.S. Bring your dick!

VIDEODROME (1983)

James Woods is the president of a small television station in Toronto.  He's always looking for something fresh and exciting to feature on his station.  The 24-hour marathons of MAC AND ME just ain't bringing in the ratings anymore, so he starts exploring around using a modded satellite dish that can pick up crap from all over the world.  His latest discovery is a show called "Videodrome" which isn't really a show, but just random people being tortured in an orange room.  Woods become obsessed with Videodrome.  Things go downhill from there...especially when he grows a Betamax player in his stomach.

VIDEODROME is a weird movie.  I remember enjoying it back in the 1980's, but watching it now for this review, it's dated as fook and tame.  A single episode of "Rick and Morty" is way more bizarre.  It's still an interesting ride from a historical perspective.

Opening act that starts out legitimately creepy, dated special effects that still look cool, good acting, medium pace, jumbled up story that doesn't go anywhere, disappointing ending.  VIDEODROME is worth watching, but it's nothing to get excited about.  I would love to see a fucked up remake.  That'd be awesome!