CHILDREN OF THE CORN II: THE FINAL SACRIFICE (1992)

A reporter and his teenage son are innocently driving through the backwoods of Nebraska when they happen upon the aftermath of the Gatlin massacre (a.k.a. the events of the first film). As any American law professor can tell you, the punishment for teenagers killing "fifty plus" people is...to be immediately adopted by the citizens of the next town over. So, our murderous band of bustas are bused to Hemingford where they start murder-death-killin' a new whole batch of oldz. It's not all bad news bears though, cuz while the entire population of Hemingford is being openly slaughtered, the father and the son both find time to boink females. Nice.

It's been (not nearly enough) years since the wretched A RETURN TO SALEM'S LOT assaulted my handsome eyeballs with its shittiness, but I kinda remember it having the same plot. A single dad and his teenage son argue a lot and get stuck in a small town taken over by evil people. The dad and the son still have time to bang local women. Eventually, the survivors band together (in boring ways) and defeat evil before driving away as the Sun rises.

I haven't seen CHILDREN OF THE CORN II: THE FINAL SACRIFICE since seeing it in the theater back in '93 and it was actually better than I remembered it being. Steady pace that kept the story going forward, a few fun kills (the nosebleed church dude was awesome!), vintage clothing, pretty farmland locations, good enough acting, satisfying ending (even if it was weak as fuck).

Overall, CHILDREN OF THE CORN II is a fun throwback to those mid-level, weak ass horror movies that sucked back in the day but are enjoyable now in a nostalgic way.

This has nothing to do with the review, but the evil teenagers from THE BLACK ROSES would beat the living fuck out of these Children of the Corn dorks. Just sayin'.

[This also has nothing to do with the review, but if anybody is confused about the tagline on the poster saying, "These children are home alone, too", it's because this movie was in the theater at the same time as HOME ALONE 2. It's just a really bad joke. Proof.]

Part 1 - Children of the Corn (1984)
Part 3 - Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)
Part 4 - Children of the Corn: The Gathering (1996)
Part 5 - Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998)
Part 6 - Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999)
Part 7 - Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001)
Part 8 - Children of the Corn: Genesis (2011)
Part 9 - Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)
Remake - Children of the Corn (2009)