ARMAGEDDON (1998)

A massive asteroid, named Dottie, is headed directly for Earth and our only hope is that two super Space Shuttles can take a group of oil drilling badasses up into space, slingshot them around the moon and land on Dottie's ass so they can give her a nuclear enema that'll blow that bitch out of the sky. Yasujiro Ozu it's not.

Nope, it's Michael Bay. So check your brain at the door and get ready for some cheesy, goofy bullshit filled with helicopters flying in front of sunsets, explosions, slow motion overdose, frantic editing, rugged saintly-like tough guys, product placement, camera spin, Aerosmith power ballad overdose and some of the worse dialogue ever written. "Miss Stamper? Colonel Willie Sharp, United States Air Force, ma'am. Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met." Ooowwwch! That line just gave me instant terminal butt cancer. Better go watch DEADLY PREY.

For a 90's disaster movie, ARMAGEDDON is about as big and dumb as it gets.  It's awesome! The disaster is "a global killer", the characters are bigger than life and the director has no shame. One of the biggest guilty pleasure movies of the 90's.

Little known (untrue) fact: In the unproduced ARMAGEDDON 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO, literally 1 second after everybody finished hugging each other that the end of the first film, everybody on Earth immediately went back to hating the living fuck out of each other for totally unimportant reasons like skin colour, money, genitals and imaginary creators.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010)

I wasn't against a "reboot" of the ELM STREET franchise, mainly because some of the latter films were junk, but this remake is completely bland and soulless. It's shot in an ultraslick way that I dislike, the story is simply an unoriginal abbreviated version of bits and pieces of various moments from the original series, the actors are all (with the exception of Freddy himself and, of course, Clancy Brown) boring and forgettable, there's zero tension, loud jump scenes and loud noises throughout the movie, very little blood or gore, zero nudity and worse of all it doesn't push the envelope at all.

Freddy was a child molester, but yet when he returns from the dead and captures these kids he doesn't have any sexual desires at all and just kills them. I would really like to see a "reboot" of the ELM STREET series made by somebody that wouldn't be scared to get into the dark psychological elements of the story. David Lynch would be a interesting choice. I'd even be happy just reading a novelization of the story by somebody like Brian Keene or Edward Lee. Now that would be exciting!!!

I was worried that the new actor playing Freddy was gonna suck, but he was actually pretty good and at moments kinda scary...too bad the script was shit and he kinda looked like a fish with Down syndrome. Watch it if you want. It's watchable, just not very memorable.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Part 4 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Part 5 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)
Part 6 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
Part 7 - Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)