NEW NIGHTMARE (1994)

If I'm following this snory (that's a mix between a snore and a story) correctly, there's an ancient demon that got trapped in the Freddy Krueger character, but now that they are no longer making ELM STREET movies, he's breaking free and starting to crossover into the real world.  And for some goddamn reason, Heather Langenkamp (who played Freddy's nemesis in the original film and Part 3) is the "gatekeeper".  Well, that's the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my life, but whatever, let's see how it goes...

...like shit. Heather is being haunted by these spooky dreams and her annoying kid is even more annoying because he sleepwalks all over the joint and talks like Danny from THE SHINING. Then finally after a short eternity, Freddy shows up and instantly gets his ass kicked. Wow. That's entertaining.

The story would have been much better if it had been centered on Robert Englund instead of Heather Langenkamp.  Unfortunately, Englund has very little screen time as himself.

Way too much buildup for zero pay off, no gore, no nudity, a new Freddy glove that looks like garbage, lots and lots of talking, stupid kills, really annoying kid, low body count (4, two of which are in the opening scene and look like crap!), Freddy wearing a hat made out of Kermit the Frog's foreskin.

Skip it with a vengeance or watch it to mock.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Part 4 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Part 5 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)
Part 6 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Remake 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010)

I wasn't against a "reboot" of the ELM STREET franchise, mainly because some of the latter films were junk, but this remake is completely bland and soulless. It's shot in an ultraslick way that I dislike, the story is simply an unoriginal abbreviated version of bits and pieces of various moments from the original series, the actors are all (with the exception of Freddy himself and, of course, Clancy Brown) boring and forgettable, there's zero tension, loud jump scenes and loud noises throughout the movie, very little blood or gore, zero nudity and worse of all it doesn't push the envelope at all.

Freddy was a child molester, but yet when he returns from the dead and captures these kids he doesn't have any sexual desires at all and just kills them. I would really like to see a "reboot" of the ELM STREET series made by somebody that wouldn't be scared to get into the dark psychological elements of the story. David Lynch would be a interesting choice. I'd even be happy just reading a novelization of the story by somebody like Brian Keene or Edward Lee. Now that would be exciting!!!

I was worried that the new actor playing Freddy was gonna suck, but he was actually pretty good and at moments kinda scary...too bad the script was shit and he kinda looked like a fish with Down syndrome. Watch it if you want. It's watchable, just not very memorable.

Part 1 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Part 2 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Part 3 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Part 4 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Part 5 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)
Part 6 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
Part 7 - Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)

SILVER BULLET (1985)

SILVER BULLET is a fun and unique werewolf movie. The script by Stephen King, based on his wonderful short novel, Cycle of the Werewolf, is fresh and alive and is as much a coming-of-age story as it is a werewolf story. Plus, it's not too scary, so kids will enjoy it also.

A pre-LOST BOYS Corey Haim lives with his family in the small city of Tarker's Mill. His legs are fucked, so he's in a wheelchair, but his crazy Uncle Red (Gary Busey) has made him a badass wheelchair that he can haul ass up and down the street with. Life is pretty idyllic in Tarker's Mill. That is until people started getting murdered off in brutal ways. After the first few murders, a curfew is put into place, but that doesn't stop the bloodshed. Corey's involvement with the story happens one night when he comes face to face with the werewolf! It's a very thrilling scene and every time I watch this movie it still gets me all excited. Anyway, so now it's up to him and his older sister (ANNE OF GREEN GABLES' Megan Follows) to find out exactly who the werewolf is.

One thing that I really like about this film is it does a great job (in a very quick time) of capturing the feel of the city's population from their initial happiness all the way through concern, fear, anger and terror. Also, Corey Haim is great. There's a few moments where he genuinely looks terrified. The supporting cast is also top-notch including THE STEPFATHER himself Terry O'Quinn and Big Ed Hurley from "Twin Peaks" Everett McGill. And let's not forget first time director Daniel Attias who has since gone on to direct episodes of a bunch of my favorite TV shows including "Big Love", "Deadwood", "Six Feet Under" and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".

If you're looking for some not too scary or violent horror movies for your kids, I think SILVER BULLET is an excellent choice. There is some blood and a few scary kills, but there's zero nudity and only a few cuss words.