Tuesday, October 4, 2011


"Suck me, beautiful!"

The main story is about four high school senior boys, who after various failed attempts at getting laid, make a pact that they're all gonna lose their virginity before graduation.   Now, that same exact story could be used in a rape-based horror movie, but luckily for us AMERICAN PIE isn't a horror movie, but instead probably the greatest high school sex comedy of the 1990's ever.

After the pact, the story splits into each boys attempts at getting laid, but at the same time the stories all overlap so it has a very natural, forward-moving feel to it. The main character, Jim, has the hots for the worlds hottest exchange student, Nadia. Kevin has a serious girlfriend, but she's all into love and "the perfect moment". Oz is a jock that decides to tap the untouched resource of the jazz choir. And Finch pays a female friend to spread wild rumors around the school about how he has a huge cock and once beat up a popular jock, Steve Stifler. Stifler gets his revenge though by putting some turbo laxative in Finch's coffee.  I still quote the "I can't hooooold it." line sometimes when I gotta take a power shit.

I love this movie. I was lucky enough to see it opening weekend in a large sold out theater and never in my life before or since have I heard an audience laugh so loud as they did at the scene where Jim did the striptease for Nadia. Honestly, I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. But that's not the only funny scene, the entire movie is just one awesome scene and classic line after another. Maybe it has to do with growing up in the 80's/90's, but to me AMERICAN PIE is classic and even after countless views I still love watching it. The characters are all realistic and likeable, the females are attractive, Shannon Elizabeth's topless scene is legendary, the script is smart and filled to overflowing with quotable lines, great soundtrack, the acting is great, the pace is fast. I like everything about this movie.

If you haven't already seen it and you have a good sense of humor, then I can't recommend it enough. I wish I could live inside this movie.  Maybe a weird, messed-up alternate reality with this film crossed over with HEREDITARY. Like live in Jim's place, but have the Paimon spirit from HEREDITARY haunting me.

Part 2 - American Pie 2 (2001)
Part 3 - American Wedding (2003)
Part 4 - American Reunion (2012)