Wednesday, November 23, 2016

THE CRYING GAME (1992)

Northern Ireland. A small group of Irish Republican Army members kidnap a British soldier (Forest Whitaker with a distractingly bad accent).  They want to exchange him for some IRA members that are being held by the British.  During his short imprisonment, Whitaker forms a bizarre relationship with IRA member Stephen Rea.  When it becomes apparent that he is going to die, Whitaker asks Rea to visit his girlfriend, Dil (Jaye Davidson), in London.  Things turn south when the IRA camp is raided.  Forest and most of the IRA members die, but Rea escapes.  He goes underground and after finding work as a construction worker in London, he decides to visit Dil.

Now here is where things get interesting, but unfortunately I'm going to have to use some spoilers to discuss it properly.  (If you haven't seen the film yet, then please skip to the next paragraph.)  [SPOILERS AHEAD]  Okay...so Rea meets Dil.  He doesn't tell her about his past with Whitaker.  It appears that he has a crush on her...even though it's blatantly obvious that they are in a gay bar and Dil is actually a dude.  At this point, I didn't think anything of it because Rea and Whitaker already had some gay vibe stuff going on earlier (Rea touched Whitaker's penis twice for god's sake!).  So, things progress and Dil and Rea go out a few times, she even blows him and then later on when Rea discovers that Dil is a dude he freaks out!  Was Rea actually surprises by this?  It seems so, since he pukes then takes off, but maybe it was just more of him facing the fact that he's gay?  I don't know.  The whole thing seemed way more dramatic than it actually needed to be.  If the filmmakers were honestly trying to fool the audience and pass Dil's character off as female then why didn't they just cast a woman in the role and then use a body double (or prosthetics) in the reveal scene?  It worked for SLEEPAWAY CAMP. [END OF SPOILERS]

Anyway, I liked THE CRYING GAME, but the pace was too slow (Dil didn't even show up onscreen until 40 minutes in!) and I honestly believe a lot the crisis in the last act could have been adverted if the two leads had simply talked to each other.  Then again, I see this same unneeded drama in movies and television shows all the time.

Worth a watch, but it's nothing worth getting overly excited about...although, I do think the story would have worked out really well as a novel.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

DIE ANOTHER DAY (2002)

Miranda Frost: "I take it Mr. Bond's been explaining his Big Bang theory."
Jinx Johnson: "Oh yeah.  I think I got the thrust of it."

The film starts with Bond surfing into North Korea.  After a botched assassination attempt, which leaves one of the intended targets with diamonds embedded in his face, Bond goes on a hovercraft chase.  He's eventually captured and tortured for 14 months, as shown by the torture/dance/opening credits montage set to Madonna singing "Die Another Day".  Bond is eventually released and appears to have absolutely zero mental or physical scars from being tortured 24/7 for the last 425 days.  Right off the bat, he's back to beating up bad guys and long-dicking hot broads.  He's also informed by the British government that they believe that he spilled secrets during his imprisonment.  So now he's off to clear his name...

The trail leads to Cuba where Bond finds the diamond-faced dude undergoing some kind of FACE/OFF-style face transplant.  All kinds of ridiculous action takes place, but it's nothing compared to the silliness that takes place at the main bad guy's "ice palace" in Iceland!  Holy moly.  It's beyond description.  The only thing I can think of is DIE ANOTHER DAY was written by a child and/or it's intended to be a comedy.  It's just soooo over the top that all you can do is laugh at it.  So, in that regard, DIE ANOTHER DAY is very entertaining.

Goofy dialogue, one hell of an entertaining sword fight, windsurfing (with used car parts) on a tidal wave through an iceberg field, flying a plane through a massive solar-powered light beam that's powerful enough that it's exploding the ground thousands of feet beneath the plane, completely insane armored car battle, a fistfight in a room full of deadly lasers, good acting, a MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL reference, having sex on a pile of diamonds (that doesn't even sound comfortable), quick pace, good acting.  On the plus side, Pierce Brosnan makes a very good James Bond.

Three thunderballs out of five.

Part 1 - Dr. No (1962)
Part 2 - From Russia With Love (1963)
Part 3 - Goldfinger (1964)
Part 4 - Thunderball (1965)
Part 5 - You Only Live Twice (1967)
Part 6 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Part 7 - Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Part 8 - Live and Let Die (1973)
Part 9 - The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Part 10 - The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Part 11 - Moonraker (1979)
Part 12 - For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Part 13 - Octopussy (1983)
Part 14 - A View to a Kill (1985)
Part 15 - The Living Daylights (1987)
Part 16 - Licence to Kill (1989)
Part 17 - GoldenEye (1995)
Part 18 - Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Part 19 - The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Part 21 - Casino Royale (2006)
Part 22 - Quantum of Solace (2008)
Part 23 - Skyfall (2012)
Part 24 - Spectre (2015)
Part 25 - No Time to Die (2021)

Non-Eon James Bond films:
Casino Royale (1967)
Never Say Never (1983)

You get it?  He's telling John Cleese that it's just "a flesh wound".  Hardy-har-har.