Tuesday, February 12, 2013


"Jason Takes Manhattan"...what a stupid fucking title.

In the opening scene some lovers on a boat are killed in very boring ways near Camp Crystal Lake.  For whatever reason Jason decides to travel down river on the boat (what is he, Huck Finn?) before finally sneaking on board a larger boat that's taking some high schoolers on a field trip to NYC.  I feel dumber just describing that, but that's what happens.

So for the next 40 minutes or so Jason kills the people on the boat in standard fashion (axe, harpoon, strangling, glass, sauna rock, electric guitar, etc.) until finally at the 64 minute mark they finally make it to New York.  You would hope at this point the story would pick up, but it doesn't.  It's still boring as Jason stalks these nerds around crappy looking alleys, the docks and a rooftop until the big showdown in the sewer where for whatever reason the sewer is flooded nightly with toxic waste!!!  What the hell?  I'm sure you can guess what happens next...that's right Jason takes one look at that toxic waste and he starts crying like a little bitch.  Even begging for his "Mommy!"  How embarrassing.  Shit like that makes me ashamed to even be a Friday the 13th fan.

Skip the shit out of this turkey and forget it even exists.

Part 1 - Friday the 13th
Part 2 - Friday the 13th Part 2
Part 3 - Friday the 13th Part III
Part 4 - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
Part 5 - Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
Part 6 - Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Part 7 - Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
Part 9 - The Final Friday: Jason Goes to Hell
Part 10 - Jason X
Freddy vs Jason