Friday, August 2, 2013

JASON X (2001)

Who in the hell thought it would be a good idea to put Jason in outer space?!  The entire reason the original movies are so awesome is because it's just a simple story about people at and around a camp getting killed in awesome ways by an unstoppable masked psychopath.  Keep it simple stupid!  But oohhh no, instead of Jason stalking cute half-naked teens around a lakeside cabin we gotta have Jason frozen and then discovered in the year 2455 by some nerds on a fucking field trip to Earth. 

Jason soon thaws out and starts killing people in crappy way onboard this crappy looking spaceship.  It's really lame, but then surprisingly it gets even lamer when the students reprogram their android into a battle droid so now Jason gets upgraded into a cyborg called "Uber-Jason". Somebody literally got paid actual money to write this?!!

Maybe good for a few laughs only, but as a serious Jason fan I found the whole thing to be so irreverent that it was actually depressing to see Jason reduced to this kind of rubbish.  Dated special effects, stupid story, dark lighting all over the joint, David Cronenberg cameo, forgettable kills, weak nudity, annoying characters, bad acting,.  Skip this sucker and never look back.

Part 1 - Friday the 13th
Part 2 - Friday the 13th Part 2
Part 3 - Friday the 13th Part III
Part 4 - Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
Part 5 - Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
Part 6 - Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Part 7 - Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
Part 8 - Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Part 9 - The Final Friday: Jason Goes to Hell
Freddy vs Jason
Remake