Tuesday, May 31, 2011

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982)

From what I've read after Michael's death in Part 2 John Carpenter wanted to continue making Halloween themed films each year, but each with a different story. Interesting idea and I actually enjoyed this movie. A lot of that enjoyment came from Dan O'Herlihy's disturbing performance as the evil guy who is making Halloween mask that's will not only kill all of the children that put them on, but also make them barf up enormous amounts of bugs and spiders and small snakes and even large rattlesnakes! Holy fuck!!!

And he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for the meddling, sexy daughter (Stacey Nelkin from GOING APE!) of a guy killed after he discovered O' Herlihy's diabolical plan. At the beginning of the movie the father is nearly killed and ends up in the hospital. Later that night an assassin comes in and crushes his skull. The sexy daughter doesn't take kindly to some stranger crushing her daddy's head so she starts snooping around and with the help of the ER doctor (horror veteran Tom Atkins from CREEPSHOW, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS) who was treating her father they discover that there's something not quite kosher going on at the Silver Shamrock mask factory. They go to investigate...

As a stand alone film HALLOWEEN III is a interesting movie and with a bigger budget might have actually been more successful, but as it is the obvious low budget undermines the creepiness of the story. During scenes that should have been ominous or sinister I was too distracted by the cheapness of the sets to be scared. Despite this Dan O'Herlihy did an outstanding job. My thoughts might have drifted in some scenes, but when he was on the screen he had my complete attention. Worth at least one watch.

Part 1 - Halloween
Part 2 - Halloween II
Part 4 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Part 5 - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
Part 6 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
Part 7 - Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
Part 8 - Halloween: Resurrection
Remake 1 - Halloween
Remake 2 - Halloween II

This scene was highly disturbing. If I had seen it as a child it would have fucked me up.

 That dude is the shitty-looking fireman hat was very distracting with his overacting facial expressions.

Nice fan made trailer:

Monday, May 30, 2011

HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION (2002)

What the fuck did Michael Myers ever do to deserve this?! For over two decades he's been entertaining us with the killing and the stabbing and that walking and what thanks does he fucking get? He get's his already tarnish (after Parts 5, 6 and 7) legacy completely shit on by a bunch of talentless assholes!

The film opens with Laurie now living in an insane asylum. Naturally Michael comes to visit and it's so bad that I honestly kept thinking that Laurie was going to wake up and it would just a shitty dream she was having, but no the nightmare was real and I have zero idea how they got Jamie Lee Curtis to sign up for this shit, they must have paid her a shitload because it was horrible beyond belief. I'll just quit talking about it and say she actually kissed Michael. WTF?

Alright, so now I'm in complete shock and fighting off the urge to smear my own feces the TV, but I persevered and soon regretting not smearing shit on the TV, because we're introduced to some ultra-annoying college students who have been chosen to star in a reality program being filmed at the original Michael Myers house. Cameras have been set up all over the house and each douchebag has been fitted with their own personal Douche Cam clamped to their annoying heads. People walk around and talk and talk and Mike appears and starts killing people. Just when you think it can't get any shittier some fucking annoying teenagers at a party start watching all of the action live on the internets and one dork, who actually knows the main girl, starts sending her text messages telling her Michael's location!!! Give me a fucking break.

Worst of all the kills are shit and Michael once again looks like he's trying out of Slipknot. Everything about this movie is terrible beyond your wildest nightmares and Michael is blasphemed nonstop. The only sliver of nonshittiness was when the cute red-head got topless for about two seconds. That was awesome, but the entire remaining 89 minutes was rubbish. Fuck this movie.

Part 1 - Halloween
Part 2 - Halloween II
Part 3 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Part 4 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Part 5 - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
Part 6 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
Part 7 - Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
Remake 1 - Halloween
Remake 2 - Halloween II

Friday, May 27, 2011

HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER (1998)

I don't really see how anybody involved with this movie could be proud of it. Completely ignoring Parts 4 - 6, Part 7, excuse me, I mean Part H20 picks up 20 years later and explains that Laurie faked her death and is now the dean of a elite private school in California. Nothing wrong with that really, just as long as Michael is an ultimate badass...and he's not. Instead his mask is fucking retarded (honestly he looks like he just walked out of a Slipknot concert) and he had zero personality. I've read that the actor who played Michael had never seen a HALLOWEEN movie before so he just decided "to tackle the role blindly". Well, he had about as much success tackling the role as Helen Keller would tackling the chicken from ROCKY.

On top of Shitty Michael the script is weak as fuck with zero scares. Laurie has a 17 year-old son who attends the school. All of the students are suppose to be on a school trip, but the boy and three friends ditch and hide out in the bowels of the school to party. That's a good idea and it could have been used for some real scares, but instead Mike shows up, quickly kills a few of them then Laurie decides she's suddenly fucking Ripley from ALIENS and goes after Michael. I guess this is seen as some kind of closure for Laurie's character, but I would have been happier with some kind of entertainment for the audience.

Worth watching, I guess, if you're a fan but I was really disappointed. Zero nudity, zero gore, only a few drops of blood, multiple annoying jump scenes, low body count without any memorable kills and the ending was foreshadowed way in advance. Boring. Also why didn't Michael kill the people at the rest stop? What a goddamn pussy!

Part 1 - Halloween
Part 2 - Halloween II
Part 3 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Part 4 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Part 5 - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
Part 6 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
Part 8 - Halloween: Resurrection
Remake 1 - Halloween
Remake 2 - Halloween II

Article incorrectly states the original massacre happened in 1968.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

ENEMY AT THE DEAD END (2010)

This movie was a fucking trip. It opens with a dude, Min-ho, in a hospital room. He's had a stroke, so his memory's all shot and he's partially paralyzed. He's been given shock treatment and he spends all his time trying to kill himself. Then one day they bring a new patient into the room and Min-ho freaks out because the new guy, Sang-up, wants to murder Min-ho! Lucky for him though Sang-up has amnesia and doesn't remember that he wants to kill Min-ho. Also he's completely paralyzed. So Min-ho decides he better kill Sang-up before he gets his memory back!

Slowly things start to unravel and the two guy's spend all of their time trying to kill each other! It's almost like a "Tom & Jerry" cartoon...if both Tom and Jerry could barely move. To make matters much, much worse they're put on some experimental medicine that causes them to hallucinate. So add all that to the fact that neither one of them sleep (out of fear) and it's complete insanity! For the most part I really enjoyed this movie and laughed a lot at these two paralyzed guy's crazy plots to kill each other, but then the story writes itself into a corner and the explanation fails miserably. I would have rather it just left me hanging than insulted me with such a rubbish ending.

Crap ending aside it's a fun, original movie that's definitely worth watching. No nudity (by the hot female nurse), but there's tons of hilarious violence and the performances by the two leads were both excellent. Check it out.
Anybody know the name of this actress?

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)

There's a new serial killer on the loose and as the partially skinned corpses of women continue to wash up on the shores of local rivers the FBI is getting more and more desperate to catch the killer. They're doing everything they know to do, including interviewing killers already in custody. But the one they want to talk to the most, Dr. Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter, isn't interested in talking to them. So they send in a young, attractive FBI Academy recruit, Clarence Starling, to talk to him, because they know that she's "his type". It works and he talks to her, but only because he has something sinister in mind.

I'm sure at this point in time everybody on the planet has seen this movie and they should because it's excellent movie. Watching it again just awhile ago for the first time in years it was funny, because even though I've seen it dozens of times I still got wrapped up in the story. Sadly, I've never read the novel ( I did read "Hannibal" and fucking loved it and hated the movie), but I think that now I'm going to. The construction of the story is brilliant and the editing so sharp that it's hard to believe the filmmakers where able to cram so much emotion and detail and character development into less than two hours.

If you haven't seen this movie then you really should. Not only is it an excellent movie, but it's one of the few times the Academy Awards actually got it right...mostly. Somehow it didn't win for Best Editing. WTF? But it did sweep all of the major awards most importantly Best Actor for Anthony Hopkins who was absolutely perfect as Hannibal Lecter. So perfect, in fact, that I still think of that role every time I see him.

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS is a mandatory purchase for your movie collection. But make sure to get the Blu-Ray, I think the picture on the Criterion DVD is too dark.
Same paragraph over and over again.

George Romero cameo.

Roger Corman cameo.

World's shortest overcoat.